is this real life?

12 Sep
Image

also, how BUFF is my arm? That’s my left arm, too.

Here I am at college, looking pensively out the window, wishing they’d fucking give us some notice for the days we’re having our photo taken so I’d know to spend a bit of time on my hair and makeup.

I’m also reflecting on poor old Miley Cyrus’s makeup in her latest music video – is it MEANT to look terrible?  As if it was hastily applied by someone who had never used liquid liner before?  As if the makeup artist had none of her kit with her that day, and so had to borrow stuff from someone who doesn’t really have any makeup, except for this old mascara sample and lip crayon that came free with a magazine 8 years ago and has been sitting untouched in a desk drawer ever since?

If so, job done, but it still bothers me.  More than her bare arse on that demolition ball.  You don’t want dust there.

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Anyway, enough about Miley, this is imogenmaxwell.com after all.

3 weeks into my course and I can still scarcely believe that Googling pictures of David Bowie and making scrapbooks of makeup pictures is now, officially, what I do.  No longer a slightly eccentric indulgence furtively carried out behind closed doors.  A legitimate passtime.  Positively reinforced by tutors who recognise my ability to Google pictures of David Bowie with unbroken focus for hours on end as sure signs of passion and commitment.

I am in actual heaven.

bowie gif 4 bowie gif 1 bowie gif 2 bowie gif 3

Anyway.  What did I do apart from go Bowie-gif-crazy this week, you ask?  Why, more airbrushing, of course.  I only just realised that the eyeshadow, below, I did on Sinead is a little bit inspired by David’s, above.  Interesting.  STOP TALKING ABOUT DAVID BOWIE IMOGEN, NO ONE ELSE CARES.

my patient model Sinead

my patient model Sinead

Airbrushing is a messy little bastard, if you’ve never had the pleasure.  My own jury is still out on the whole business; I mean, I know I’ve only had two shots at it, but I can’t really see the point so far.  It’s messy, it smells weird, you look like a newsreader with it on, it doesn’t come off, it takes longer than normal makeup, and cleaning the gun is a real pain in the can.

see?  MESSY!

see? MESSY!

splotches everywhere from the damn gun spitting!  Ffffffuck!

splotches everywhere from the damn gun spitting! Ffffffuck!

the look now complete with Aunt Sally pink blush

the look now complete with Aunt Sally pink blush

We also did face charts, which is colouring in, but less fun because you’re doing it with makeup that doesn’t stick to paper (if it’s powder) or doesn’t blend properly (if it’s cream).  But kind of cool anyway.  Here’s my first one:

show us yer cheekbones

show us yer cheekbones

So that’s what’s all going on at college, y’all.

Bet you’re wondering what song will accompany today’s flog post.  David Bowie?  Not today.  Not even the Misfits even though I’m wearing my Misfits top in my window portrait up top there.  No, not the Misfits.  Don’t worry, not Miley either.  How about some Korn because it’s a cool video and they’re about to release a new album for the first time in ______ years?

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