Tag Archives: goth

GIF me a job

23 Aug

Can I just say… today is the first time I’ve been able to get a GIF to work on my flog.  So… someone, GIF me a high-five!

No?  Moving on.

Enrollment day went well.  Found the bus, got off at the right stop, didn’t accidentally join a gang.  Bit of a waste, really, because the long long corridors at the college would be PERFECT for menacing, West-Side-Story-style click-walking.

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not what actual gangs are like

not what actual gangs are like

My greatest fear was that my classmates would be all like

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unfriendly, 15 years old, and orange

but they weren’t.  They WERE younger than me but not by fifteen years.  They WERE a little orange (some of them) but that’s alright with me.

They were also all friendly, and everyone was a little nervous and unsure of what to expect, so it was fine.  There was lots of green/blue/pink/purple/silver hair and LOTS of facial piercings (so I shan’t be getting my lip pierced now, partly because it would make me the same as everyone else but mostly because I am pretty sure my mother would march right over here – yes, from Australia – and tear it out of my face if I did.  Yes, I am thirty years old, contemplating a facial piercing and not going ahead because my parents would kill me.  Shut up.)

So that’s enrollment all done, and classes begin on Tuesday.  The rest of this week was spent re-acquainting myself with my CV and exploring my local area.  I’ve applied for a couple of jobs but I’m having a bit of an identity crisis.  I was the boss-lady up in Oban for the last five years so the idea of NOT having any responsibility kind of appeals, yet I also want to earn more than the minimum wage.  What to do?

First things first, I should really sort my chipped black nail polish out.

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May as well have “I’m not getting the job, am I?” tattooed on my neck.

Today’s tune deviates once again from the metal of glam and hair.  Because I am multi-faceted, with layers.  Like an onion.  A lot like an onion actually.  Delicious, but no one will have me in case they have to kiss their girlfriend later.  Boom boom!  Just kidding.  ANYWAY.

I’ve been making the most of the kitchen in my new flat which has not one but TWO dance areas.  Brilliant.  My housemates couldn’t be lovelier either.  Lucky me.  So let’s party – hit play and dance around, fools.  Yes, I know it’s annoying ad-music, but live a little won’t you.  It’s fun.

Happy Friday, lovers – I’m off to whoop it up with Loz who’s coming for a visit from Oban tonight.  We’re going to scare the panties off Glasgow.

Xx

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Flog or CLOG?

4 Aug

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Let’s face it, it may as well be the Chloe Maxwell blog/flog.

Here she is again, on her way to a friend’s Goths n’ Geeks themed party, rocking some goth makeup by me of course.  And wearing one of my former favourite tshirts too.  Oh, I do like a tshirt with a hood, I do.

Red eyeshadow by Napoleon Perdis (donated to me by the thunder down under, Miss Jacqui Mossop, who handed it over some years ago with a “I don’t know what I was thinking, here, you take it” – and I’ve had a surprising amount of use out of it.)  The colour might not be your/anyone’s cup of tea but the product itself is good; highly pigmented, super-fine powder eyeshadow that applied and blended really well over my Makeup Forever eye primer.

The black around her eyes is Snazaroo face paint, which made Chloe’s eyes water to buggery – don’t put that shit on your waterline, people, it doesn’t belong there.

The red hair spray is something from Superdrug, I dunno, Chloe bought it.  Ergo it was probably cheap, but it applied well and came out sans drama.

Chloe’s pallor is largely natural but she is also sporting:

  • Benefit Realness of Concealness yellow concealer under her eyes to counter her blueish-purple douche bags;
  • Sephora skin primer to fill in/smooth over the skin surface for flawless foundation;
  • Maybelline Dream Matt Mousse in its palest shade (although only where needed, most of that is her own lily-white complexion);
  • a touch of Boots No 7 green primer on her cheeks and across the bridge of her nose as she was heading to a party with drinking so this was all in aid of keeping her snowy-white and not looking like a red-faced drunkard in any photos.

The black lipstick is Illamasqua, and an excellent example of how dark lipstick on a … not-Angelina-Jolie-lipped lady can visually thin the lips quite spectacularly.

I am personally crusading to bring the thin lip back in to fashion.  It seems I am alone in this quest, as I couldn’t find a photo of a human with lips thin enough for my liking, and so… to the cartoons.  Some of my favourites have got it goin’ on, observe:

I know she's traditionally considered a villain but I think Ursula is misunderstood.

I know she’s traditionally considered a villain but I think Ursula is misunderstood.

Ursula is an excellent example of working with what you’ve got; her hair, nails and makeup are flawless (just LOOK at that uniformly purple skin!) and she refuses to be body-shamed into putting on a cardigan.

She’s also not afraid of drawing attention to that slimline lip there.  I hope to look something like this when I’m in my 70s.

Pink, purple, stripey and a lil bit sleazy. Miow!

Pink, purple, stripey and a lil bit sleazy. Meow!

No lips to speak of on this guy, yet he still cuts a fine figure.  I like the cut of the Cheshire Cat’s jib in general actually; why give everything away when you can be all smoke and mirrors?

I hope, like him, that when I disappear/fade away/shuffle off this mortal coil, I’ll be so unfathomably fabulous that no one will ever quite believe I was here in the first place.

Here’s to doing it differently, lovers xX

nailed it: carbon grey with studs

31 Mar

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This is Maybelline Forever Strong Super Stay 7 Days gel nail colour in Carbon Grey #815.  So far it’s been on for 3-4 days and showing no signs of wear – impressed.  It’s a really nice dark gunmetal grey with just the right amount of shimmer to it, and the finish has stayed really shiny.  I applied two coats to get the opacity I like.

Along the tips of my nails I put some little diamond stickers just for fun.  The purple nail is a Sephora colour.

High five!

it’s raining rock n’ roll

23 Mar

What’s that you say?

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You like posts with photos of me in the nuddy the best?

You’re only human.

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But anyway, I didn’t put black lipstick with pink lipliner on to discuss that.  No.  I’m here to deliver the interesting-only-to-me news that my Jettblack tickets arrived.

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I love Jettblack because Jon Dow.

the man I'm going to marry

I’m pretty sure he wrote this song about me, which is awesome because I think it’s the best love song I’ve ever heard.  I very much look forward to meeting him and moving our relationship to the next level (reality).

Chloe is coming to see them too, of course.  She still owes me (and will always owe me) for the Hanson/Kelly Clarkson double-whammy.

imo at kelly clarkson

She was quite surprised when I breathlessly showed her the photo of my future-husband Jon, as she was expecting Jettblack to be in their fifties at least.  Just like every other band I’ve made her come see.

Happy hair-metal weekend, rocklings.

*No mullets were harmed in the making of this post – it’s just tied up.

PS Here’s a fun photo effects thingy – http://pixlr.com/o-matic/

PPS For my photo-editing I use http://www.photoscape.org

PPPS Oh yeah, this is a makeup blog.  So here’s a tip, I can’t remember where I saw it so I do apologise if I’ve nicked this from another beauty blogger who I’m now not crediting… but I’m pretty sure I saw it in a magazine so hopefully no harm done.  Anyway.  Make the darkest part of your eyebrows at the arch to make them look fuller, not the inside corner like you might think.  Boom.

PPPPS I STILL haven’t heard from Clydebank College about whether I’ll be offered a place on the HND in Makeup Artistry…

… the suspense is killing me…

St Patrick’s day nails

3 Mar

First up today, a bit of housekeeping – apologies to any bitterly disappointed readers who, like me, were unable to take advantage of the e.l.f sale I posted about the other day – I didn’t realise they only deliver to Canada and the USA.  Secondly, thank you all so much for clicking through to see a photo of me in a bra – site views were through the roof the last couple of days!  How exciting.

And now, you’ve had your fun(bags)… Back to the serious business of MAKEUP!

So what I attempted to do here was some kind of St Patrick’s Day manicure, using the two Illamasqua nailpolishes I got as part of a mystery pack I bought a few weeks ago.  The dark one (Rampage) is a nice dark ninja-turtle green that looks black until you go outside.  It’s good.  I like nailpolish that looks black but isn’t.

My idea was to do a reverse French manicure that looked like a glass of Guinness, and then I was like, BACK IT UP – I’VE GOT DARK AND LIGHT GREEN NAILPOLISH, so why not make it look like a Guinness with nasty-ass green food dye in it, just like how they serve it on St Patrick’s Day in the pub!!!  And a mediocre idea was born.

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I almost didn’t put these pictures up because I made such a pig’s ear of it – look at that, er, black four-leaf clover.

Moving right along, I painted my right hand with Barry M Nail Paint in #284 Emerald Green.  Barry M Nail Paints are yet another example of an excellent UK high-street cosmetic brand; their stuff is only a few quid and it’s just as good as what you’d pay ten times as much for.  Experiment and get crazy with all the colours, yo.  It won’t cost you.

nail polish2 (2)  barry m

Fly, my pretties, get your tacky green on – and remember, if you go back far enough… You.  Are.  Irish.

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