Tag Archives: Snazaroo

Show Me Your Lizard

8 May

I’m not being rude, that’s the name of the last Insane Championship Wrestling show that Angie and I did.  Get your mind out of the gutter, you dirty depraved flogstars!

Or at least, if you’re in the gutter, I hope you’re looking up at the stars.  Free makeover for whoever gets that reference first.

Anyhoo, today’s flog post brings a rare how-to.  I guess I shouldn’t even be calling this a beauty blog in the first place, since how-tos and product reviews are so few and far between.  WHATEVS, my flog, my rules 😛

So, Show Me Your Lizard.  We did a bit of touching up and other misc makeup backstage, but the real action began when we had the bright (vodka-induced) idea to get in amongst the audience and offer our facepainting skillz.

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we practiced on our arms first 🙂 photo by Chelsea Cochrane

That involved yelling “facepainting!  Get your face painted!  Show me your LIZARD!” at the punters as they entered the venue.  Which for some reason, was extra-hilarious in an Australian accent.  Here are some shots of what we did:

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… and now for the how-to part.  You will need green cream makeup and a paintbrush or foundation brush to apply it with (don’t use anything precious as it’s a pain in the ass to clean off a nice brush), an orange bag…

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yep

…yellow facepaint and a sponge to stipple it on with.

Whack the green on first, give it a moment to dry, place the orange bag over the top (take the oranges out first dummy) then carefully stipple the yellow paint over the top.  Lift the orange bag away, and voila, scales!  Easy.

Here are some more backstage pics for your amusement.  Commentary from me not required.  Until next time, flogstars! xX

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rumours of my disappearance have been greatly exaggerated

13 Nov

I’m alive and well, flogstars – I’ve just been a lazy bastard.  A busy one actually, and over a week has passed without a post because I’ve been flat out like a lizard drinking (apologies, just getting my Australian lingo back up to scratch for the imminent visit home).

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Here’s a quick recap of … some things I did.

Flog devotees (hey, you) will remember how hard I had made Chloe slave in the lead-up to the body painting assessment.  The day came and I was as prepared as I could be.  I’d burnt though nearly a whole cake each of orange, black and white Snazaroo paints in the practice sessions.  Chloe’s torso was practically raw from having stripes scraped onto it with my cheap shitty brushes.

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Doing the design plan right before I started the painting. Yes, that’s a toothbrush in my mouth. Imogen Maxwell: Eleventh Hour Calm is what I shall call my first autobiography.

And it came together pretty well.  I had pulled together some good accessories – the black claw-nails, white fluffy eyebrows that I’d originally procured to use on Agi for the doomed oompa-loompa wig assessment, tiger ears headband, vampire fangs that wouldn’t bloody well stay in so I ended up Blu-Tac’ing them to Chloe’s incisors.

It's really hard to get a wide shot in the bodypainting studio without there being like a MILLION boobs in the background.  And you've got to watch all those mirrors too - oh lookee, there's Megan with her baps out behind Chloe there, heehee

It’s really hard to get a wide shot in the bodypainting studio without there being like a MILLION boobs in the background.

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All in all pretty happy with how it came up, and I passed, which is all that really matters.

That same day, Chloe stayed for the afternoon to be my model for Asian bridal makeup.  Heehee.

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International heartbreakers

In non-makeup but Chloe-related news, it was her birthday this week so I made a tiramisu

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… and we went out for drinks with Loz.

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That’s all for today, my beloved flogstars.  I’ve got a bit to catch you up on so will post again soon.  And I’m thinking of completely changing up the format of the flog, so strap yourselves in.

And now, to bed… here’s Darren Hanlon with a lullaby to send you soundly to the land of nod.

baby you’re a firework

5 Nov
me for vendetta

me for vendetta

Happy bonfire night, flogstars.  Hope you’re not scared of fireworks.

be cool, be cool

be cool, be cool

Today is my bodypainting assessment; I’m as prepared as I can be, and ready for ACTION!

what my tiger bodypainting will not look like

what my tiger bodypainting will not look like

 

WTF?  They're cheap red pointy false nails, blue-tacked on to the end of makeup brushes, so I could paint them black.  They will be Chloe's claws.

WTF? They’re cheap red pointy false nails, blue-tacked on to the end of makeup brushes, so I could paint them black. They will be Chloe’s claws.

Here are some more halloween photos from the weekend to tide you over until I have new material.  These are just pub randoms, not my work.

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Alright, night night now.  Big day tomorrow… IT’S TIME TO PLAY THE GAME!  So here’s Motorhead to sing you to sleep, which they won’t be doing in Glasgow in November because the tour’s been postponed.  Gah.  That’s THREE TIMES now that I’ve NOT seen Motorhead.  Anyway, sweet dreams.

 

easy, tiger

30 Oct

I don’t actually WANT to kill any of my classmates, but I’m going to have to.

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They’re too talented, and I just don’t need that kind of competition.

lucy's tattoo

This week we began Asian bridal in basic makeup, and continued practicing bodypainting for next week’s assessment.

My tiger is coming together OK; I was right, getting organised has helped confidence levels considerably.  Today (Tits-Oot Tuesday) I practiced twice, first on Saoirse …

saoirse tiger

… after which she practiced her Xena cuff on my arm.  I volunteered to get my top off like a million times, but no dice.

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Then I practiced on Chloe at home …

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… after which she sat around my lounge room topless, painted as a tiger, watching TV for ages and ages.

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Also this week: Asian bridal …

Tutor Caroline demonstrating on model Jen

Tutor Caroline demonstrating on model Jen

… CV head-shot makeup for Chloe …

I'm hired!

I’m hired!

… a bit o’ facepainting on lovely wee Eilidh …

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… and some goldeneye action to cover up my stained eyelids.  Stained from the MAC Chromaline we were using as a base for the bright eyeshadow in Asian bridal.  Oh, so pink and fabulous (until you try to wash it off – so, perfect for the long-wear you’d want on your wedding day!)

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Graftobian cosmetic powdered metal (copper) and Graftobian Magic Set Mixing & Lining Liquid.

I don’t have any of my own to experiment with yet, but I suspect the Magic Set might rival Illamasqua sealing gel. It’s the same kind of thing – a setting liquid that you mix with powder to create an opaque, fast drying and long-lasting paint… only Graftobian’s is a fraction of the price.

Oh speaking of bargains, Crownbrush UK will be having a 20% off sale probably within the next couple of days (once they reach 20,000 ‘likes’ on Facebook).  I use a lot of their brushes – they’re good and dirt cheap.  Get in.  You don’t need to spend heaps on brushes; if you use them a lot therefore clean them a lot, they’re going to lose hair regardless, so you may as well get cheaper ones cos they’re going to need replacing anyway.  And I honestly don’t notice a difference in quality with most of my cheap brushes up against, say, MAC ones I’ve paid a fortune for.

It’s just unnecessary.  Get cheap brushes and spend what you’ve saved on regular facials; no brush or foundation for that matter is going to make a lick of difference if you face has the texture of a house brick.

Bed time, flogstars.  Here’s Harry Belafonte to sing you to sleep.

kreepsville

11 Oct

October is a big month here at imogenmaxwell.com – we’re fast approaching our first birthday and 100th post!  Chloe has moved to Glasgow!  It’s Halloween!  And you know what that means.  Crazy makeup, costumes, and skulls on EVERYTHING.

these are a few of my favourite thiiiiiings

these are a few of my favourite thiiiiiings

Chloe is staying with me while she flat-hunts and job-hunts.  The day before she arrived, I re-configured my room to fit her and her stuff in.  The following morning I was in a bit of a mad rush to get out of the flat and off to college so I left something on the bed that left Chloe, by her own admission… speechless.

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That’s right, a severed head aka a hairdressing dummy.

I call her Jenny.

I call her Jenny.

I had been watching some reconstruction of the Meredith Kercher crime scene the other day on the telly, which inspired me to cast my eye around my own room and speculate about what conclusions a homicide detective/the world media would draw.

Not good.

My bedside table had two things on it; a measuring tape and a packet of painkillers.

How many creepy cat teapots do you have?  I have three.

How many creepy cat teapots do you have? I have three.

So now I have added “interior decorator” to my dream-list of staff, just to save me from posthumously humiliating myself.

Moving on, this week in college we continued with body painting and basic makeup.  Thursday was my second wig assessment which … had to be abandoned half way through as my model fainted.  Ooops.  Poor old Agi, the studio really was very hot and stuffy, and the gin fumes rising off me as I got up close and personal with the body-paint wouldn’t have made her feel too good either.

This week in pictures:

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Pin-curling Agi’s hair – couldn’t she have bloody well fainted BEFORE I had to do that fiddly bullshit?

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Basic makeup with the Belfast Babes

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I am actually that tall.

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I am painted greyish white, for those too shy to ask. Yes, I am pale but not that pale!

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My basic makeup on Belfast Babe Saoirse

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That’s all I can show you for the time being, kids.  We’ve got next week off college so updates may become (a) sporadic and (b) nothing to do with makeup, as Chloe and I will be shennaniganing all over Glasgow.

Here’s Heart, they’re sisters too.

 

Blogs and kisses,
x Imo

body painting, week 1

1 Oct
me, awkwardly failing the pencil test since... oh, 1997?

me, awkwardly failing the pencil test since… oh, 1997?

Today was our first bodypainting session.  Our tutor Janet demonstrated a few techniques, painting a black corset with gold lace and roses, on one of our brave and gorgeous classmates (Jen), who was an awfully good sport about the whole thing.

Here’s the one photo I took, of everyone being pervy and taking photos of Jen with her baps out.

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I asked Jen’s  permission to upload this photo here, on my flog.

“Jen”, I said solemnly, “It is one thing to stand topless in front of 20 of your silent, gawping classmates for an hour while Janet paints your nips.  It’s one thing to have a photo of your blacked-out rack all over Facebook, but quite another to have it on this, the greatest flog in all the land, a modern-day oracle, revered by titans of the cosmetic industry, creators, producers, artists, muses, rebels, waifs, designers, dreamers and lovers alike.  Are you SURE you don’t mind me publishing this smartphone photo of your side-boob to the finest minds on the internet, my international audience of millions?  Think carefully Jen, are you ready to become iconic, timeless, an indelible mark on the annals of cultural history, a part of the Imosphere… forever?”

Jen did one better.  “Course it’s fine, I’ve got some better pics if you’d prefer to use those, I’m not shy!”

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Then it was everyone else’s turn to strip off and give it a go.  We are all much better acquainted now.

This is what I whipped up in my first attempt:

only took me like ten minutes, too.  LOL, this is not, I repeat NOT, my work, I totally stole this image from ... holy shit, I lost my reference page.  Not good.  Sorry, whoever this belongs to.  UGH, this is the WORST blog etiquette, Imogen, the WORST.  Not taking the picture down, mind, it's too cool.  Forgive me, blog gods.

only took me like ten minutes, too. LOL, this is not, I repeat NOT, my work, I totally stole this image from … holy shit, I lost my reference page. Not good. Sorry, whoever this belongs to. UGH, this is the WORST blog etiquette, Imogen, the WORST. Not taking the picture down, mind, it’s too cool. Forgive me, blog gods.

Moving on, the afternoon class (Basic Makeup) involved me being cruelly separated from my beloved study-buddy Sinead, and paired with the equally delightful Magda:

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hope y’all aren’t sick of these mirror photos, there are SO MANY more to come

who did this ‘basic 4-shadow blend’ on my mug:

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everyone else in the class has nailed their ‘face for when a close-up photo is being taken of your makeup’ – not this guy.

And that was all in a day’s work, best beloved.  I’m pooped.

pURGR

 

A song before bedtime, you say?  Go on.

Here’s Eels with The Good Old Days, from the album Shootenanny! (the exclamation mark is part of the album title, not just my enthusiastic punctuation).  This song choice will surprise regular readers, who normally brace themselves for some terrible 80s hair metal at this time of the flog.  I chose this song because I couldn’t get a link to All In A Day’s Work from the same album, and also because it’s beautiful, and nice and mellow for this time of night.

What is Shootenanny! doing in my CD collection, if I also own not one but TWO Iron Maiden albums?  I’ll tell you.  I was going to save this story for publication in a fucking epic post in which I interview myself, but let’s treat ourselves.

The most sensible new year’s resolution I ever had was to buy one new album every payday.  I might reinstate that one actually, when I have paydays again that is, LOL.  Anyhoo, Eels had a song on the radio that I liked, so I bought their album, loved it, then went to their show at the Thebarton Theatre in Adelaide, when they toured.  This would have been about ten years ago.

Of every live music performance I have ever seen, and not to brag or anything but I have seen shitloads, Eels are the only band I’ve seen who kept playing after the show really was over.  And I mean over.  I don’t mean an encore.  Lights were on, power was shut off, everyone had left.  There was probably a lone wee guy sweeping up empty plastic beer cups.  Still they kept going.  My pal EJ and I were there until almost the bitter end; I don’t know how long they actually kept playing for, and the only reason I know for sure that they’re not still going on that very same stage is because I have seen other shows there since.

Anyway, Shootenanny! is a great album, and reminds me of… a time in my life that was technically a bit shit in a few ways, I hated my job for example, but music that makes you remember anything always makes you a bit fond, doesn’t it.

 

I did a makeup!

25 Aug

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There you go.  It looks better on my Instagram – are you following me?  Get on it.  www.instagram.com/imogenmaxwell

After all the chit-chat about getting into college and moving cities etc etc, we’re back to mucking about with the facepaint – the whole original point of this flog.

Here are the tasty boys from Jettblack with “Less Torque, More Thrust” to celebrate.

You can’t actually see them in that video obviously, so click here to be taken to some topless photos of them I just happen to have on archive.

xX

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