Tag Archives: drag

mature?

25 Nov

I’ve been called worse.

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You’ll be miffed to hear that in the beauty industry, this most evil of machines whirring away to sell us our own insecurities, a lady is classed as “mature” once she’s 27.  LOL!

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As such, throughout this flog post, the word “mature” will be appearing in sarcastic quotey marks.

“Mature” makeup is one of the looks we cover in basic makeup (along with basic bridal, Asian bridal, basic female and male makeup, and evening makeup).  As with any makeup you’re doing on anyone, you start by (gasp) asking your client/model/Chloe what they want, what they usually wear, what kind of look they’re going for etc etc.  Then you moisturise their mug and get busy.

Tutor Caroline did the demonstration on the lovely, remarkably good-skinned Mum-of-Rachel, Elaine.

like mother, like daughter -  gorgeous!

like mother, like daughter – gorgeous!

So what’s different about makeup on the more “mature” skin, then?

Basically, matte powders – rather than shimmery cremes – are more flattering around the eye area as they sink less obviously into fine lines.  Also, you apply all the makeup about an inch higher than you would on an “immature” face, so that when the skin is relaxed (ie not being stretched hither and thither for the makeup artist to be grinding their powders and potions in), it’s where you want it.  On a less-elastic lid, for example, your lovely liner might disappear under a fold of skin when your model’s eye doesn’t have your finger propping it open.

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owww

And that’s basically it.

Angela (27) and I did our “mature” assessments on each other’s dewy skinned faces.

Nubile as.

Nubile as.

So that’s that, kittycats.  Here are some other “mature” faces for you to admire before tonight’s singalong.

Dame Edna Everage: Australian superhero

Dame Edna Everage: Australian superhero

My bosom buddy, my wig hero, Dolly Parton I LOVE YOU

My bosom buddy, my wig hero, Dolly Parton I LOVE YOU

And now, a song.  Here’s someone’s hillwalking video I weirdly stole from YouTube.  Soundtrack is In a Big Country, by our friends… Big Country.  Band and scenery are Scottish.

 

Until next time Xx

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I did a makeup!

25 Aug

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There you go.  It looks better on my Instagram – are you following me?  Get on it.  www.instagram.com/imogenmaxwell

After all the chit-chat about getting into college and moving cities etc etc, we’re back to mucking about with the facepaint – the whole original point of this flog.

Here are the tasty boys from Jettblack with “Less Torque, More Thrust” to celebrate.

You can’t actually see them in that video obviously, so click here to be taken to some topless photos of them I just happen to have on archive.

xX

men, makeup and me

24 Jun

Did you know that most of the winners of the Academy Award for Best Makeup are men? I was kinda surprised by that.  I think we have some sexism here, folks.

Not sure who is being most sexist; me, for making assumptions about the makeup industry being chicks-only?  The film industry for giving all the good jobs to the boys?  Or the Academy for overlooking a shit-ton of talented women and only recognising the relatively few men in the industry?

Anyway, we’re not here today to delve too deeply into that.  I just thought I would draw it to your attention, as when I win an Oscar, I will be even more special because I’m a woman, and the world will be 0.00000000000000000000000000000001% less sexist in that moment.  I really am making this planet a better place for us all.

So.  As previously discussed:

  • while makeup CAN change the world;
  • no one NEEDS makeup (by this I mean you look fine just the way you are), but if you LIKE makeup and WANT to get involved;
  • makeup can be enjoyed by EVERYONE, and ANYONE can be good at it.

Glad we’ve cleared that up.

Speaking of men, makeup and the Oscars.  Whenever I am chatting to a male and they find out that I’m an aspiring makeup artiste, they’ll react in one of two ways.

Either ‘cool/that’s nice/tell me more/good for you/who cares let’s talk about the weather’, OR they’ll leap about screaming “NO WAY would I ever let you do my makeup!!!  Argh!  You’d make me look like a girl, do you even have a spare skirt with you and do you think your heels would fit???”

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One thing these two types of men have in common is that I didn’t offer to do their makeup.  Of course, I love doing male makeup and I also happen to think that:

  • there’s nothing wrong with men getting done up to look like girls, if they want;
  • there is such thing as makeup on men that still has them looking like men.

Have these people never heard of Jack Sparrow, Alice Cooper, Brandon Flowers?  Sheeeeesh.

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the plot thickens…

30 Apr

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 I like shopping on the internet when I’m drunk

28 Apr

…which is why 3/4 of the storage space in my room is full of crazy crap like this.

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take me seriously

Opening packages and parcels is always exciting, especially when you don’t know what’s in them.  So imagine my surprise last week when not one, but two yellow wigs arrived.

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The orange lipstick I’m wearing is So Chaud by MAC with a bit of their eyeshadow in Honeylust in the centre of my bottom lip.  Did you guys know they still do the package recycling incentive, so if you return 6 MAC makeup empties of any kind to them, they’ll give you a free lippy (but not from the Viva Glam range, as that’s sold to raise cash for the MAC AIDS fund).

Anyway.  Gotta go rack my brains to see if I can remember why I would have thought I needed two yellow wigs.  I really do have fantastic ideas when I’m pissed, why don’t I write them down?  Oh yeah, because “amazing shelf bum” written on a gin-soaked receipt still leaves me completely in the dark.

Vegemite and lip tattoos – Colin rides again

17 Mar

After the last post featuring my housemate Colin’s nipples, I have been deluged with requests, fan mail, bribes, marriage proposals, weird fan-art, and all sorts of messages and trinkets that I was supposed to pass on to him, but didn’t.

Some of the more savoury suggestions you sent in, dear readers, included things you wanted me to do to Colin’s lucious lips.  Which is why we are here today, to try out the lip tattoos given to me for Christmas by my babelicous Danish friend, Irene.

Here’s me with Irene, in Glasgow, December 2011, on our way to the Def Leppard/Motley Crue/Steel Panther gig.

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So Irene gave me, amongst other fabulous gifts, some lip transfer/tattoos.

As made famous by Jessie J

As made famous by Jessie J

They’re just like the temporary tattoos that we all played with as kids (I don’t still play with them, HAHAHAHAHAHAA).  You cut the tattoo to fit the size and shape of your lips, peel off the plastic, wet the tattoo generously with cold water, press it on then carefully lift away the paper backing once the tattoo is stuck to the skin.

Colin assumes the position

Colin assumes the position

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But I just didn’t think that was creepy enough, so I made his teeth pointy.

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These pointy teeth were created with…

yes, Vegemite!

yes, Vegemite!

… although if you want a longer-lasting pointy tooth, get some tooth enamel.  Otherwise, as soon as you stop baring your teeth and start flapping your gums as normal, you’ll end up looking like you need to see the dentist urgently.

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So the lip tattoo lasted for an entire evening.

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And it lasted quite well.  I thought it would crack and peel but it didn’t, it just kind of faded.  He got a good few hours wear.

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And it wasn’t any ordinary night that the lip tattoo survived; it was Roadtrip Three Reunion night, where Chloe, Colin and I enjoyed a splendid slideshow of all the photos from the holiday we took together a year ago.  She-housemate Zoe might not have enjoyed it as much as we did, but she was a bloody good sport about it, and that’s why we love her 🙂

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