Tag Archives: West College Scotland

rumours of my disappearance have been greatly exaggerated

13 Nov

I’m alive and well, flogstars – I’ve just been a lazy bastard.  A busy one actually, and over a week has passed without a post because I’ve been flat out like a lizard drinking (apologies, just getting my Australian lingo back up to scratch for the imminent visit home).

kangaroo gif

Here’s a quick recap of … some things I did.

Flog devotees (hey, you) will remember how hard I had made Chloe slave in the lead-up to the body painting assessment.  The day came and I was as prepared as I could be.  I’d burnt though nearly a whole cake each of orange, black and white Snazaroo paints in the practice sessions.  Chloe’s torso was practically raw from having stripes scraped onto it with my cheap shitty brushes.

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Doing the design plan right before I started the painting. Yes, that’s a toothbrush in my mouth. Imogen Maxwell: Eleventh Hour Calm is what I shall call my first autobiography.

And it came together pretty well.  I had pulled together some good accessories – the black claw-nails, white fluffy eyebrows that I’d originally procured to use on Agi for the doomed oompa-loompa wig assessment, tiger ears headband, vampire fangs that wouldn’t bloody well stay in so I ended up Blu-Tac’ing them to Chloe’s incisors.

It's really hard to get a wide shot in the bodypainting studio without there being like a MILLION boobs in the background.  And you've got to watch all those mirrors too - oh lookee, there's Megan with her baps out behind Chloe there, heehee

It’s really hard to get a wide shot in the bodypainting studio without there being like a MILLION boobs in the background.

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All in all pretty happy with how it came up, and I passed, which is all that really matters.

That same day, Chloe stayed for the afternoon to be my model for Asian bridal makeup.  Heehee.

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International heartbreakers

In non-makeup but Chloe-related news, it was her birthday this week so I made a tiramisu

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… and we went out for drinks with Loz.

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That’s all for today, my beloved flogstars.  I’ve got a bit to catch you up on so will post again soon.  And I’m thinking of completely changing up the format of the flog, so strap yourselves in.

And now, to bed… here’s Darren Hanlon with a lullaby to send you soundly to the land of nod.

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baby you’re a firework

5 Nov
me for vendetta

me for vendetta

Happy bonfire night, flogstars.  Hope you’re not scared of fireworks.

be cool, be cool

be cool, be cool

Today is my bodypainting assessment; I’m as prepared as I can be, and ready for ACTION!

what my tiger bodypainting will not look like

what my tiger bodypainting will not look like

 

WTF?  They're cheap red pointy false nails, blue-tacked on to the end of makeup brushes, so I could paint them black.  They will be Chloe's claws.

WTF? They’re cheap red pointy false nails, blue-tacked on to the end of makeup brushes, so I could paint them black. They will be Chloe’s claws.

Here are some more halloween photos from the weekend to tide you over until I have new material.  These are just pub randoms, not my work.

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Alright, night night now.  Big day tomorrow… IT’S TIME TO PLAY THE GAME!  So here’s Motorhead to sing you to sleep, which they won’t be doing in Glasgow in November because the tour’s been postponed.  Gah.  That’s THREE TIMES now that I’ve NOT seen Motorhead.  Anyway, sweet dreams.

 

boo!

31 Oct

Hey hey flogstars, happy halloween.

Today was the final day for wig assessments, and while I had already completed both of mine, my services as a short-haired model were required.  Today I was Freyja’s model, and she turned me into a haunted Alice in Wonderland.  I don’t have copies of the pics from the college camera (yet) but here are a few from my phone.

sans wig

sans wig

a wee cheeky green one with halloween stickers, because why not

a wee cheeky green one with halloween stickers, because why not

completed look

completed look

with the pin curls taken out

with the pin curls taken out

bus home.  There are no other passengers BECAUSE I ATE THEM ALL!!!

bus home. There are no other passengers BECAUSE I ATE THEM ALL!!!

and now I'm sitting in the kitchen writing this flog post.  Not taking my makeup off, no sir.

and now I’m sitting in the kitchen writing this flog post. Not taking my makeup off, no sir.

 

The contacts are “Berzerker” from MesmerEyez.

So here’s 80s German power-metallers Helloween, with I Want Out.  Parental Advisory: Contains exactly as many fluffy blond Euro-mullets, denim jackets, leather, skin tight jeans that show EVERYTHING, and dodgy special effects as you would expect from a video endorsed on imogenmaxwell.com

Happy tricking and treating, ghouls.  Xx

easy, tiger

30 Oct

I don’t actually WANT to kill any of my classmates, but I’m going to have to.

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They’re too talented, and I just don’t need that kind of competition.

lucy's tattoo

This week we began Asian bridal in basic makeup, and continued practicing bodypainting for next week’s assessment.

My tiger is coming together OK; I was right, getting organised has helped confidence levels considerably.  Today (Tits-Oot Tuesday) I practiced twice, first on Saoirse …

saoirse tiger

… after which she practiced her Xena cuff on my arm.  I volunteered to get my top off like a million times, but no dice.

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Then I practiced on Chloe at home …

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… after which she sat around my lounge room topless, painted as a tiger, watching TV for ages and ages.

tv tiger 2

Also this week: Asian bridal …

Tutor Caroline demonstrating on model Jen

Tutor Caroline demonstrating on model Jen

… CV head-shot makeup for Chloe …

I'm hired!

I’m hired!

… a bit o’ facepainting on lovely wee Eilidh …

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… and some goldeneye action to cover up my stained eyelids.  Stained from the MAC Chromaline we were using as a base for the bright eyeshadow in Asian bridal.  Oh, so pink and fabulous (until you try to wash it off – so, perfect for the long-wear you’d want on your wedding day!)

goldeneye

Graftobian cosmetic powdered metal (copper) and Graftobian Magic Set Mixing & Lining Liquid.

I don’t have any of my own to experiment with yet, but I suspect the Magic Set might rival Illamasqua sealing gel. It’s the same kind of thing – a setting liquid that you mix with powder to create an opaque, fast drying and long-lasting paint… only Graftobian’s is a fraction of the price.

Oh speaking of bargains, Crownbrush UK will be having a 20% off sale probably within the next couple of days (once they reach 20,000 ‘likes’ on Facebook).  I use a lot of their brushes – they’re good and dirt cheap.  Get in.  You don’t need to spend heaps on brushes; if you use them a lot therefore clean them a lot, they’re going to lose hair regardless, so you may as well get cheaper ones cos they’re going to need replacing anyway.  And I honestly don’t notice a difference in quality with most of my cheap brushes up against, say, MAC ones I’ve paid a fortune for.

It’s just unnecessary.  Get cheap brushes and spend what you’ve saved on regular facials; no brush or foundation for that matter is going to make a lick of difference if you face has the texture of a house brick.

Bed time, flogstars.  Here’s Harry Belafonte to sing you to sleep.

it’s not all tits and smiles

23 Oct

Sometimes, when you go unprepared into something, with a barely thought-through idea that was shit to begin with, the result can be disappointing.  That’s another way of saying I had no idea what I was doing today, this first Titty Tuesday, and it went… tits up.

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My gracious sister Chloe accompanied me in to college to be my bodypainting model, ever good-natured and generous with her time.

I was going to paint Chloe as a mermaid, or in a military uniform with a cute hat, and pockets glued over her baps and epaulettes stuck on her shoulders.  I was also going to make her look like the Venus de Milo (but with arms), or Superman or Xena (but both of those were already taken).  We talked about what I was going to paint her as A LOT in the lead up to this, yet none of the ideas actually stuck.  It was all just a bit all over the place.

So I had no idea what I was going to do, and going in to class today, I felt incapable, disorganised, out of my depth… and all over the place.

startled cat gif

First up we gave the mermaid idea a whirl, which was such a HUGE flop I can’t bring myself to show you photos of it.  Ugh.  We LOL’d, Chloe wiped it all off (see pic above), and I started again on the back-up plan – TIGER!

That came together alright, but not before the tutor pointed out that my ideas were wishy-washy, disorganised and disconnected, I hadn’t done my homework, and I was obviously taking the easy option and staying well within my comfort zone by doing bodypainting that was essentially an extension of the same ole face-painting I’ve done a billion zillion times.

Green tiger for St Patrick's day

Green tiger for St Patrick’s day

All of which was true, but still dented my massive yet fragile ego, which was particularly fragile in light of the failed mermaid attempt.  AND on Monday afternoon I also didn’t like my work in Basic Makeup, it just… wouldn’t do what I wanted it to do.  My confidence was in the shitter.  It all got on top of me, friends.  For the first time since starting the course, this week I felt like I was just too crap at this to even try any more, and would never have a decent creative idea again as long as I live.

If I can’t even blend two eyeshadows together, how will I ever get by in a world filled with “self taught!  This isn’t my job, I just do it for fun!” makeup artists who are so insanely talented it makes me want to vomit?  Boo hoo.

So I pouted and felt sorry for myself and whinged to my nearest and dearest about my insecurities, and was reminded that (a) I’m learning, and not supposed to be good at bodypainting the first time I try it, (b) Max Factor himself probably can’t paint tits for shit (thanks Loz) and (c) it’ll pass, everyone has crap days.

alice tears

If you’re having an un-creative slump yourself, read this and you, too, will get over it.  Lesson learned: be organised and focussed, it will make you feel confident and the rest will fall into place.

Moving on, I had a go at the tiger bodypainting which I also wasn’t happy with, but it wasn’t a total fuck-up either.  When I do it for realsies, for the assessment in a couple of weeks, I’ll have honed my technique and I think it should come up alright.

It will obviously be, uh, finished on the day of the assessment.  Ie her face will be painted, her hair will be done, the photo submitted will be all styled and shit.

It will obviously be, uh, finished on the day of the assessment. Ie her face will be painted, her hair will be done, the photo submitted will be all styled and shit.

close up of brushwork/stippling.  LOL.  Rhymes with nippling.

close up of brushwork/stippling. LOL. Rhymes with nippling.

After “Advanced Makeup Techniques”, Chloe stuck around for the afternoon class (Basic Makeup) where we were practicing basic bridal makeup.

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marry me, darling

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I decided to temporarily relocate Chloe’s lip-line half way down her chin, just for fun.

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Hope you like our Wayne’s World style product placement there.

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*bridesmaid face*

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HOW does she, my own sister, have such a nice profile, while I look like a geriatric man who’s had a penis transplanted onto his face after losing his nose in a freak accident that also left him with a pronounced underbite? HUH?

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So that’s what’s all happening up in here, flogstars.

What’s today’s video, you ask?  A Tits-Oot Tuesday post wouldn’t be complete without a nod to the Queen of Dollywood herself.  Wanna see Dolly Parton honking at her own magnificent rack and hollerin’ “hey Miley, I’ve got your wreckin’ balls right here!”?  ‘Course you do.  So watch this, it’s Dolly ‘rapping’ on Queen Latifah’s talk show.  Yes, you read that right.  You’re welcome.

baps oot Tuesday!

21 Oct

Chloe is coming in to college with me tomorrow, to be my bodypainting model.

Image

hands up if you’re not that stupid!

Not sure what I’m going to do on her yet.

my muse

my muse

“Xena.  Make me Xena, Warrior Princess.  Or whatever you think you can do.”

I don't think so.

I don’t think so.

I was thinking more Garfield.

garfield

Wish me luck, flogstars.  I have three weeks for this – well, two weeks of practice, and then the assessment!  Pics to follow (if Chloe lets me).

gettin’ wiggy with it

6 Oct

That Will Smith song has been in my head for days, and now we must all suffer.  Let’s get it out the way at the beginning of the post so we can put it behind us, move on and never speak of it again.

 

So Thursday was a big day – a visit from the one and only Carissa (remember when I painted her boobs green?) in town for one night only, and two magnificent reasons.  Firstly, to model for my first wig assessment – and oh boy, model she did.  That girl knows how to throw a pose.

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me emptying a can of hairspray onto her dome to hold everything in place

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Carissa’s hair wrapped, pin-curled and sprayed, ready for the sexy head-sock

me looking a normal height for once

me looking a normal height for once

backstage madness

backstage madness

even more backstage madness

even more backstage madness

…and here are some of the snaps from our library photoshoot.  What you can’t hear is the tapping on the glass and wolf-whistling from the big group of lads sitting outside the library.  They were quite overwhelmed.

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Tutor Janet seemed happy with the way they turned out, so once they’re edited etc I’m pretty sure they’ll be good enough for assessment.

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Carissa’s hair once the pincurls were taken out, heehee

So then we went out to celebrate at the Cathouse (I’m not proud), with our Finnish friends Reckless Love.  We turned up at the venue at about 9pm to find them coming back out on stage for their encore.  The whole thing was over by 9:30pm.  Can you believe it?

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We had fun even though we missed probably more than half the show.  Oh well.

In other news, I earned and spent my first Amazon voucher from doing online surveys.  Guilt free shopping cos technically it’s free!  Win!  Amongst other essentials (I got a copy of Aerosmith’s Pump for 1p!) I procured some Halloween accessories, black-out contacts and vampire fangs.  I don’t actually have any costume ideas, but it’s good to be prepared.  Not that I’ve been invited to any Halloween parties or anything… but it’s good to be prepared.   I’ll have to work out how to attach the fangs better… couldn’t get the dental adhesive to work properly, and it coated my mouth with its nastiness.  Bleugh.

black contacts

Give us a kiss.

Give us a kiss.

Speaking of Aerosmith’s Pump album, here they are with Love in an Elevator.  Two songs in one flog post?  I break all the rules.

 

Happy Monday, flogstars! Xx

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