I know I promised you a juicy flog post all about my long weekend in Denmark, but… The vodka and energy drink has erased my memory of most of it, and my camera had a nice relaxing holiday in Kastrup airport’s lost property office for the whole 5 days I was away, so there is no pictorial evidence either.
Apart from phone-photos. And this is the type of photo I take on my phone.
So today’s flog post is STORY TIME, from the What I’ve Learned archive.
This, flogstars, is a photo of my free ticket to the Steel Panther concert.
Irene and I didn’t have regular tickets, because we’re fucking hustlers and also really disorganised and forgot to buy them in time. So, humiliatingly, on the night of the concert we were stationed out the front of the venue, next to a bunch of strippers handing out flyers. (The strippers were handing out flyers, we weren’t.)
We were begging people on their way in to the venue. Irene and I were hoping people would have spare tickets to sell. One person had one. One. So we bought it for 250DKK, then swiftly resold it for 300DKK because we are dirty dirty scalpers.
We wisely used that 50DKK profit to buy two mostly-empty beers (pictured) from a couple who had already been inside, and they also kindly threw in a look at their wrist-stamp too. I scanned the stamp with my photo-laser eyes, took my eyeliner out of my purse and replicated it on our wrists.
Then we marched right on inside with our beers held high to signify that we had already been in, flashing our ‘stamps’, and quickly melted into the crowd.
we knew our place: up the back BEHIND all the paying-people, spending lots of money at the bar to atone
Stealing from performing artists isn’t cool, kids, but the fact of the matter is that I am practically a shareholder in the Steel Panther franchise, having paid to see them live thrice and having bought five copies of their first album and 3 of their second album (I’m not even kidding – copies for each vehicle in my fleet plus gifts to friends).
So while I’m not suggesting that you start pirating about all over the place, that’s how to sneak in if you ever have the need.
Next in the What I’ve Learned series: How To Get Backstage. Here’s a sneak preview. Step one – have blonde hair and big boobs. Step two – just go back there, seriously, there’s usually nothing or no one to stop you, and if you’re not screeching/being a dick/stealing their beer, they’ll usually let you stay.
… but if, like me, you’re doing a shitload of TFP (time in exchange for pictures) shoots, you’ll be working with professional photographers, models and possibly stylists or other creatives, and at the end of the (long, hard day in the freezing rain) you all want the same thing – shit-hot photos for your portfolio.
models: Ieva at Model Team and Lauren at Superior Model Management makeup by me, photography by Bryce Powrie, threads by One For The Wall
All of us – the photographers, models and makeup artists – all need up-to-date pretty pictures to show off our mad skillz. Which is why lots of us spend half our lives running around like blue-arsed flies on these TF photoshoots.
They’re great fun, and there’s something nice about a wee gang of you working together with the same vision, not for money but for the love. Not to say we’re not all getting something out of it, but anyone doing anything for free is displaying some level of dedication, and that’s nice to be around.
All the pretty pictures for me are ending up in my portfolio, which is actually an official thing getting assessed at college next week. With an interview and all. We need a minimum of 8 photos from a minimum of 4 photoshoots. I’ve done 6 photoshoots and pics from 5 of those are going in my portfolio.
I think if I didn’t have a clear idea of what I needed, and if I hadn’t been lucky in landing shoots with reasonably experienced and professional people, that number might not be so high. As it is my final task for portfolio production is showing some uncharacteristic restraint and editing down my selection to best highlight my makeup work.
None of this putting photos in just because they’re cool and I like them. Is it a photo that showcases my makeup work, or do I like the photo because the model’s hair looks swishy or because there’s a cute puppy or because the clothes they’re modelling look really good? All wonderful things, and important components of a good photo… but FOCUS, IMOGEN!
doing the no-makeup-look on a guy is harder than you think, but you’re not even looking at him are you. This is an example of a photo that doesn’t reeeeeally do my makeup work much justice. photo by Bryce Powrie, model Nicolas Garcia-Minaur, puppy not mine sadly
Which led to me Googling “how to have a not-shit portfolio” which took me all sorts of interesting places on the internet. Here is one of the more useful things I read, copied and pasted because you’re more likely to read it if I do it like this, aren’t you.
A test shoot is a collaboration in which all parties involved should benefit from the pictures received. I don’t go in for contracts or think you should come across like a demanding diva when approached about a test shoot but you do need to discuss a few things with the photographer before the shoot so you can be sure what you receive later will be useful to you.
Here are some questions you should have answers to before any pictures are taken to insure that the image files you receive after the shoot are suitable for printing.
1. Can you get some close up shots of the makeup?
Always ask the photographer to get some close up shots of the makeup as part of the deal and remind them on the day that you need some head shots. A great beauty shot next to a full length image can look fantastic in your book and will show your skills as a makeup artist more clearly.
2. Can you start the day off with a really clean beauty look?
You should be focusing on clean beauty when you start building a portfolio so if you get roped into a test that doesn’t involve clean beauty see if you can do a quick beauty look at the start of the day which you can build on after to achieve something more adventurous. This way everyone should get something usable for their books right from the start and you get more looks out of a days shooting.
3. Will you get Hi-Res files?
Make sure the photographer is going to provide hi-res files so you can print nice sharp images for your book. Low-res files are only suitable for posting online so they don’t take too long to load.
4. Does the photographer have watermarks on all his/her images?
If the photographer you are working with uses watermarks on his/her images check that getting files without the watermarks won’t be a problem so you can print the images for your book.
5. How many images should you expect to receive?
Discuss how many images you should realistically expect to receive and whether these files will have been retouched. Unless you are shooting a big editorial story it is unlikely that you would really need more that 5 images from a shoot.
6. Will you have any input into the final picture selection?
Often all parties involved are looking for something different for their books so it’s great if you all have some input into the final image selection. If you are given a choice of images think about the composition in your book so the images you pick go together on a double page.
If you are unsure about any of the following points discuss them with the photographer in an email. Emails are great as it gives everyone a record of whats been agreed on to refer back to.
I stole that from http://whattheprosdo.blogspot.co.uk/ – which sadly hasn’t been updated in nearly 5 years, but still has loads of really handy tips for the nascent makeup artiste.
It’s a UK based site however a lot of the stuff on there would be useful for anyone starting out – things like what to think about when putting together your website and business cards, what to carry with you (bottle of water and a banana because no one feeds you on photoshoots – so true, and the reason my makeup kit is a suitcase is really so it can fit all the muesli bars in it that I require for a half-day on the go).
So there you have it flogstars, a bit of practical know-how for ye.
Here’s Steel Panther with The Burden of Being Wonderful. Watch it and next post I’ll tell you all about the weekend I’ve just had in Denmark partying at them. Not with them. At them.
Just when you thought you had all the knowledge-power needed to win the war against makeup supervillain Flash Face…
… THIS goes and happens.
The flash has picked up that Irene’s hair is loaded with Schwarzkopf got2b Volumising Style Powder; a product which has gotten quite mixed/negative reviews online.
As I have a mullet…
Me and Chloe, ruling the world
…which is quite short on top, I find this product pretty good for fluffing my hair up. Sure, it makes your hair feel a little matted, and yes, when you try to shampoo it out, your shampoo won’t lather. If you put conditioner on it first it comes out fine. I think the trick is to just use it sparingly… I seem to recall it took a good few days for Irene’s lovely hair to return to normal after this!
Do you know of any volumising powders/dry shampoos that are big-hair perfection? Especially any that are darker in colour- a good dry shampoo that doesn’t just look like you’ve dumped a whole lot of talc in your barnet? Do tell 😀
PS Today’s product recommendation – Maybelline Master Smoky shadow-pencil, which is a fat eye crayon number with a pointy foam smudger thingy on the end. Pointy foam smudger thingies are great for sharpening/cleaning up a winged eye; use a clean one to give a sharper edge to a flick you’ve created using eyeshadow, for example.
The Master Smoky pencil itself is soft, full o’ pigment and excellent for darkening up underneath your top lashes, if you want them to look thick and fluffy and amazing. That there tip, courtesy of Kevyn, is a great way to really define your eyes – it’s subtle but makes a helluva difference, I think. Give it a go. Any big-fat eyeliner pencil is good for cutting your teeth on that one. They’re easier to apply.
After the last post featuring my housemate Colin’s nipples, I have been deluged with requests, fan mail, bribes, marriage proposals, weird fan-art, and all sorts of messages and trinkets that I was supposed to pass on to him, but didn’t.
Some of the more savoury suggestions you sent in, dear readers, included things you wanted me to do to Colin’s lucious lips. Which is why we are here today, to try out the lip tattoos given to me for Christmas by my babelicous Danish friend, Irene.
Here’s me with Irene, in Glasgow, December 2011, on our way to the Def Leppard/Motley Crue/Steel Panther gig.
So Irene gave me, amongst other fabulous gifts, some lip transfer/tattoos.
As made famous by Jessie J
They’re just like the temporary tattoos that we all played with as kids (I don’t still play with them, HAHAHAHAHAHAA). You cut the tattoo to fit the size and shape of your lips, peel off the plastic, wet the tattoo generously with cold water, press it on then carefully lift away the paper backing once the tattoo is stuck to the skin.
Colin assumes the position
But I just didn’t think that was creepy enough, so I made his teeth pointy.
These pointy teeth were created with…
yes, Vegemite!
… although if you want a longer-lasting pointy tooth, get some tooth enamel. Otherwise, as soon as you stop baring your teeth and start flapping your gums as normal, you’ll end up looking like you need to see the dentist urgently.
So the lip tattoo lasted for an entire evening.
And it lasted quite well. I thought it would crack and peel but it didn’t, it just kind of faded. He got a good few hours wear.
And it wasn’t any ordinary night that the lip tattoo survived; it was Roadtrip Three Reunion night, where Chloe, Colin and I enjoyed a splendid slideshow of all the photos from the holiday we took together a year ago. She-housemate Zoe might not have enjoyed it as much as we did, but she was a bloody good sport about it, and that’s why we love her 🙂
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