Tag Archives: sisters

Flog or CLOG?

4 Aug

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Let’s face it, it may as well be the Chloe Maxwell blog/flog.

Here she is again, on her way to a friend’s Goths n’ Geeks themed party, rocking some goth makeup by me of course.  And wearing one of my former favourite tshirts too.  Oh, I do like a tshirt with a hood, I do.

Red eyeshadow by Napoleon Perdis (donated to me by the thunder down under, Miss Jacqui Mossop, who handed it over some years ago with a “I don’t know what I was thinking, here, you take it” – and I’ve had a surprising amount of use out of it.)  The colour might not be your/anyone’s cup of tea but the product itself is good; highly pigmented, super-fine powder eyeshadow that applied and blended really well over my Makeup Forever eye primer.

The black around her eyes is Snazaroo face paint, which made Chloe’s eyes water to buggery – don’t put that shit on your waterline, people, it doesn’t belong there.

The red hair spray is something from Superdrug, I dunno, Chloe bought it.  Ergo it was probably cheap, but it applied well and came out sans drama.

Chloe’s pallor is largely natural but she is also sporting:

  • Benefit Realness of Concealness yellow concealer under her eyes to counter her blueish-purple douche bags;
  • Sephora skin primer to fill in/smooth over the skin surface for flawless foundation;
  • Maybelline Dream Matt Mousse in its palest shade (although only where needed, most of that is her own lily-white complexion);
  • a touch of Boots No 7 green primer on her cheeks and across the bridge of her nose as she was heading to a party with drinking so this was all in aid of keeping her snowy-white and not looking like a red-faced drunkard in any photos.

The black lipstick is Illamasqua, and an excellent example of how dark lipstick on a … not-Angelina-Jolie-lipped lady can visually thin the lips quite spectacularly.

I am personally crusading to bring the thin lip back in to fashion.  It seems I am alone in this quest, as I couldn’t find a photo of a human with lips thin enough for my liking, and so… to the cartoons.  Some of my favourites have got it goin’ on, observe:

I know she's traditionally considered a villain but I think Ursula is misunderstood.

I know she’s traditionally considered a villain but I think Ursula is misunderstood.

Ursula is an excellent example of working with what you’ve got; her hair, nails and makeup are flawless (just LOOK at that uniformly purple skin!) and she refuses to be body-shamed into putting on a cardigan.

She’s also not afraid of drawing attention to that slimline lip there.  I hope to look something like this when I’m in my 70s.

Pink, purple, stripey and a lil bit sleazy. Miow!

Pink, purple, stripey and a lil bit sleazy. Meow!

No lips to speak of on this guy, yet he still cuts a fine figure.  I like the cut of the Cheshire Cat’s jib in general actually; why give everything away when you can be all smoke and mirrors?

I hope, like him, that when I disappear/fade away/shuffle off this mortal coil, I’ll be so unfathomably fabulous that no one will ever quite believe I was here in the first place.

Here’s to doing it differently, lovers xX

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behind the scenes

20 May

This weekend I’ve been to England and back, for my cousin’s wedding.  The weekend before, I went to Germany and back for the beer festival, but you already knew that because you religiously stalk my flog and you’ve been a bit worried because I haven’t posted every other day like I normally do.

I admit, I dropped the ball, best beloved.  I’m not telling you about my fabulous life of endless jet-set socialising ONLY to brag about it, but also to excuse my lack of flogging this week.  

Did I mention that, in between the last two weekends away (both of which were book-ended by one whole day in transit each direction), we moved premises at work and got the new building open and up and running?

For someone who normally swans about at a luxurious snails’ pace, this business has left me catatonic at the end of each day and completely unable to flog sensibly.  Sorry, fans.  

To atone, here’s a photo of me and Chloe pre-wedding.  This is one of a series of test shots we always take before going out in public, to see how we’re coming up in photos that day.  To practice working our angles and check make-up etc.  

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yes, this is a photo taken in the mirror with the camera on self-timer, balanced on a bottle of vodka, which is balanced on a kettle. You won’t get this kind of behind-the-scenes action again, people, so soak it up.

See “how to be photogenic” for further information/tips on how to be like us.

xXx

 

smiles all round

14 May
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I’m too sexy for this tooth

I got back from Germany yesterday, and back to Oban about 3 hours ago, to find a package waiting for me.  From the one and only glorious, gorgeous Irene!

In amongst a whole lot of fabulous goodies, there was some tooth blackening enamel, attractively modelled by me above.  Can’t wait to get busy creeping everyone out with this!

In the meantime, I’m freakin’ shattered from all the beer I had to drink last weekend, so … I’ll have to come up with something more intelligent for Thursday’s post.  Look forward to it, dear reader, you know what I’m like Xx

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mullet + biker boots + dirndl = ??

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my nasty little plait is no match for Chloe’s

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but I am getting better at fish-tail plaiting!

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sober

St Patrick’s Day facepaint

15 Mar

So, my Snazaroo colours have arrived from eBay – Grass Green, Bright Green, White and Black (in case anyone wants a pint of Guinness painted on their cheek).  I wasn’t able to get hold of any green glitter anywhere in Oban; seems everyone has the same idea, AND is more organised than I am.

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And here I am, on reception in the hostel, practicing painting shamrocks on the back of my hand.

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In other green makeup news, I used the ole Illamasqua sealing liquid on Chloe the other night, in a St Paddy’s take on the classic feline-flicked eye.

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She commented that once it had set, it felt a bit tight and weird on her eyes.  I haven’t had that problem using it on myself, but maybe I was laying it on her a bit thick.

Another cautionary tale; I started doing the flick using the Maybelline Eye Studio 24 Hour Colour Tattoo in black, but it didn’t really work out.  As regular readers are aware, I am a huge fan of those lil pots of metallic colour perfection, but I can now say I think they’re best suited for a wash of colour, a smokey eye or as a primer on which to build powder colours.  For precision work, I had trouble getting a clean and opaque line.

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Yes, Colin does have leopard-print lips there.  Just a few teasers for an upcoming post 😉  Right after this last photo was taken, Nothing Compares To You by Sinead O’Connor came on, which is Colin’s favourite song, and we had a huge and very emotional sing-along – so there’s the answer to yesterday’s caption competition riddle, for those following on Facebook.

Stay tuned, and I hope you don’t feel too green the day after your St Patrick’s Day celebrations!  xX

Twiggy and Bowie, Chloe and me

11 Feb

From the 1973 album Pin Ups, here is David Bowie posing with Twiggy.

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The face-outline thing reminds me of this:

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which was my bum-chinspiration for this:

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…which was Chloe in costume as this:

boy george

I have always admired Boy George in his twilight years; he just paints over that wattle and expects us all to turn a blind eye.  What double chin?  Oh this ol’ bronzed acre of skin?  That’s a jawline you could shave parmesan on, friends, not a massive turkey gobbler.  Nothing to see here.

Anyway.  Back to Bowie.

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I’ve had my mullet trimmed (although it is not such a dark red as his), I’ve bought a brown contact lens and Chloe and I are both going bra-less today so there are no strap marks on our shoulders.  I’m so ready for this.

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It’s the morning after and I’m editing the photos from the Pin Ups session, and laughing my ass off.  Most of these aren’t fit for publication.  The kind of stuff you don’t want ending up on 9gag.  I’ve got a whole album of oh-god-why, right here.  Let’s see if I can tastefully crop them into something more family friendly.

Basically, the makeup took several hours and 4 litres of Lambrini.  We were both topless, drinking pints of mimosa all afternoon.  My housemates were quite surprised when they came in from their day skiing, but Zoe quickly regained her composure and took the final photos for us.

So here we go.  I don’t have a huge number of progress shots because the camera battery was running low, and I’m also not going to be able to name all the products I used; mostly because there is no point naming the ancient eye-shadows I’ve had for 10+ years that I bought in Australia.

This was my first proper attempt at covering eyebrows; there are a couple of ways you can do it, so I picked the cheaper one – glue stick!  Yes really.  I think I put too many layers on; on Chloe’s eyebrows at least I think one layer might have been enough.  In the YouTube videos I watched they were all going to town with several layers, built up with powder in between.

Anyway, here she is a with a monobrow created with Pritt-stick and Illamasqua Rich Liquid foundation.

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The Illamasqua Rich Liquid foundation was applied around the outside of her face, then all down Chloe’s neck, arms and chest to make her a nice golden-Twiggy colour (and I upped my own palour with Illamasqua Skin Base foundation, in the lightest shade).  The Rich Liquid is the densest coverage formula they’ve got, and it’s DENSE.  It-covers-tattoos-dense.

The face-outline was drawn on with a nude lip-liner, and the white Skin Base foundation went inside the outline.  At this stage, Chloe looked quite like a playing card somehow, so I popped my Red Queen wig on her just quickly, for fun:

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Then came the eyeshadow, which didn’t work out as well as I wanted it to – it was difficult blending the powder over such thick, sticky layers of foundation and dry glue stick.  It was frustrating.

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Finished with a LOT of black mascara, top and bottom, cos that was the way Twiggy rolled.  Light pink sparkly blush low down under the cheekbones and on the temples.  Nude lipliner and gold lipstick.  Blue headscarf.

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Then I did my own makeup.  My makeup is similar to Chloe’s – covered eyebrows, face outlined.  But I am snow white instead of white and tan.  I was wearing a matte taupe eyeshadow and brown mascara, and contact lenses.  I used a matte peach blush on my temples and under my cheekbones.

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And this is what we ended up with:

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What do you think?

I think Chloe pulls a very convincingly beatific Twiggy face there.

What I learned from this session:

– Always put whole afternoons aside for this kind of ambitious undertaking; when you’re flying blind, you need time on your side.  You don’t want to be rushed.

– Really thick, tan makeup looks amazing in photos and ridiculous in real life.

– Covering eyebrows is hard, although the dried glue stick wasn’t as uncomfortable as I thought it would be.  It retained a bit of flexibility so it didn’t flake off or peel up like I assumed it might.

– Teaching yourself can be satisfying and fun, however recently I’m feeling limited by not having the right tools or products, and I’m very aware of the huge gaps in my technical knowledge… and it’s frustrating.  I have the vision but it’s not always enough.

I try to stay positive and channel Kevyn when it’s not going the way I want; even when you’re making a complete dog’s breakfast of it, you’re still learning.

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