Don’t worry friends, I won’t put THAT Savage Garden song anywhere near this post. (You’ll have to click through here to see what I’m talking about if you don’t already know.)
Anyway – FANTASY FACE! That’s right flogstars. We’re straying into krazy katwalk territory now; welcome to the Fantasy Face unit of advanced makeup techniques.
The story so far:
Tutor Gillian demonstrating on Jordan
dirty girls
I studded Shinnerz right up
… then contoured her to within an inch of her life
She got her revenge by putting a fishnet stocking on my heid to create a fish-scaley effect, and turned me into a merman
So we’ve got another few weeks of this, the only two criteria for assessment being that we have to use “skin additions” (sticking pretty much anything on) and the design has to go down on to the neck. One two three GO!
Here’s Tesla with Modern Day Cowboy, cos that’s what you are, you sexy little flogstar. Love your guts.
You’ll be miffed to hear that in the beauty industry, this most evil of machines whirring away to sell us our own insecurities, a lady is classed as “mature” once she’s 27. LOL!
As such, throughout this flog post, the word “mature” will be appearing in sarcastic quotey marks.
“Mature” makeup is one of the looks we cover in basic makeup (along with basic bridal, Asian bridal, basic female and male makeup, and evening makeup). As with any makeup you’re doing on anyone, you start by (gasp) asking your client/model/Chloe what they want, what they usually wear, what kind of look they’re going for etc etc. Then you moisturise their mug and get busy.
Tutor Caroline did the demonstration on the lovely, remarkably good-skinned Mum-of-Rachel, Elaine.
like mother, like daughter – gorgeous!
So what’s different about makeup on the more “mature” skin, then?
Basically, matte powders – rather than shimmery cremes – are more flattering around the eye area as they sink less obviously into fine lines. Also, you apply all the makeup about an inch higher than you would on an “immature” face, so that when the skin is relaxed (ie not being stretched hither and thither for the makeup artist to be grinding their powders and potions in), it’s where you want it. On a less-elastic lid, for example, your lovely liner might disappear under a fold of skin when your model’s eye doesn’t have your finger propping it open.
owww
And that’s basically it.
Angela (27) and I did our “mature” assessments on each other’s dewy skinned faces.
Nubile as.
So that’s that, kittycats. Here are some other “mature” faces for you to admire before tonight’s singalong.
Dame Edna Everage: Australian superhero
My bosom buddy, my wig hero, Dolly Parton I LOVE YOU
And now, a song. Here’s someone’s hillwalking video I weirdly stole from YouTube. Soundtrack is In a Big Country, by our friends… Big Country. Band and scenery are Scottish.
Happy bonfire night, flogstars. Hope you’re not scared of fireworks.
be cool, be cool
Today is my bodypainting assessment; I’m as prepared as I can be, and ready for ACTION!
what my tiger bodypainting will not look like
WTF? They’re cheap red pointy false nails, blue-tacked on to the end of makeup brushes, so I could paint them black. They will be Chloe’s claws.
Here are some more halloween photos from the weekend to tide you over until I have new material. These are just pub randoms, not my work.
Alright, night night now. Big day tomorrow… IT’S TIME TO PLAY THE GAME! So here’s Motorhead to sing you to sleep, which they won’t be doing in Glasgow in November because the tour’s been postponed. Gah. That’s THREE TIMES now that I’ve NOT seen Motorhead. Anyway, sweet dreams.
Today was the final day for wig assessments, and while I had already completed both of mine, my services as a short-haired model were required. Today I was Freyja’s model, and she turned me into a haunted Alice in Wonderland. I don’t have copies of the pics from the college camera (yet) but here are a few from my phone.
sans wig
a wee cheeky green one with halloween stickers, because why not
completed look
with the pin curls taken out
bus home. There are no other passengers BECAUSE I ATE THEM ALL!!!
and now I’m sitting in the kitchen writing this flog post. Not taking my makeup off, no sir.
The contacts are “Berzerker” from MesmerEyez.
So here’s 80s German power-metallers Helloween, with I Want Out. Parental Advisory: Contains exactly as many fluffy blond Euro-mullets, denim jackets, leather, skin tight jeans that show EVERYTHING, and dodgy special effects as you would expect from a video endorsed on imogenmaxwell.com
That Will Smith song has been in my head for days, and now we must all suffer. Let’s get it out the way at the beginning of the post so we can put it behind us, move on and never speak of it again.
So Thursday was a big day – a visit from the one and only Carissa (remember when I painted her boobs green?) in town for one night only, and two magnificent reasons. Firstly, to model for my first wig assessment – and oh boy, model she did. That girl knows how to throw a pose.
me emptying a can of hairspray onto her dome to hold everything in place
Carissa’s hair wrapped, pin-curled and sprayed, ready for the sexy head-sock
me looking a normal height for once
backstage madness
even more backstage madness
…and here are some of the snaps from our library photoshoot. What you can’t hear is the tapping on the glass and wolf-whistling from the big group of lads sitting outside the library. They were quite overwhelmed.
Tutor Janet seemed happy with the way they turned out, so once they’re edited etc I’m pretty sure they’ll be good enough for assessment.
Carissa’s hair once the pincurls were taken out, heehee
So then we went out to celebrate at the Cathouse (I’m not proud), with our Finnish friends Reckless Love. We turned up at the venue at about 9pm to find them coming back out on stage for their encore. The whole thing was over by 9:30pm. Can you believe it?
We had fun even though we missed probably more than half the show. Oh well.
In other news, I earned and spent my first Amazon voucher from doing online surveys. Guilt free shopping cos technically it’s free! Win! Amongst other essentials (I got a copy of Aerosmith’s Pump for 1p!) I procured some Halloween accessories, black-out contacts and vampire fangs. I don’t actually have any costume ideas, but it’s good to be prepared. Not that I’ve been invited to any Halloween parties or anything… but it’s good to be prepared. I’ll have to work out how to attach the fangs better… couldn’t get the dental adhesive to work properly, and it coated my mouth with its nastiness. Bleugh.
Give us a kiss.
Speaking of Aerosmith’s Pump album, here they are with Love in an Elevator. Two songs in one flog post? I break all the rules.
There you go. It looks better on my Instagram – are you following me? Get on it. www.instagram.com/imogenmaxwell
After all the chit-chat about getting into college and moving cities etc etc, we’re back to mucking about with the facepaint – the whole original point of this flog.
Here are the tasty boys from Jettblack with “Less Torque, More Thrust” to celebrate.
You can’t actually see them in that video obviously, so click here to be taken to some topless photos of them I just happen to have on archive.
I’m lying in bed with my laptop on my chest, full of cake and hangover, but smiling through the pain. Thanks to my family and friends for indulging me, spoiling me, celebrating with me this weekend – feeling very loved and overwhelmed by everyone’s generosity.
So how does one turn 30, Imo-style? Well.
I went down to Glasgow to scope out my new local area…
… continued filming How I Killed Your Father with the delightful David Fernandez…
… got the surprise of my life when Irene came over from Denmark to surprise me for my birthday…
… celebrated the shit out of said birthday, by having a Tarantino co-party with other July baby Agapantha…
can I just point out, the reason I look knackered is too-clever shading and contouring I did so I would look like I had been up all night taking cocaine with Vincent Vega. Not actually so hag-faced in real life, I swear. Many thanks to resident pastry chef (and fellow Adelaide girl) Keva for the raspberry and white chocolate cheesecake – yummm. Check out her blog here and I challenge you to NOT lick your computer screen.
Colin as Stuntman Mike. Scar by me.
Ian getting tatted up a la George Clooney in Dusk Til Dawn
… and ripped all my clothes off and jumped into Loch Lomond with Faye, because why not.
This coming week I’m ordering all the kit to start my course next month, but even more exciting than bruise wheels and liquid latex is this – my adventure down to London with Chloe for the David Bowie Is exhibition at the V&A. Giddy up!
ain’t she just the best
So just this once I’ll deviate from the usual hair metal that only I give a shit about, and leave you with the great man himself. A new version of this song is being used to advertise a mobile phone at the moment so here you go, get educated.
You can substitute the lyrics to be “blue, blue, electric blue, is the colour of my poo” if you like.
As this blog is written by someone who actually has “hand-wash dirndl” and “write to Amish pen-pal” on this week’s To Do list, it won’t surprise you to hear that this weekend presents yet another party at which I am expected to dazzle.
And also as you would expect, any party involves dress-ups, if you’re me. Anyone who has ever been to a dress up party knows that this always, always presents a plethora of dilemmas.
While I’ve been called worse things than the Colossus of Costume, obviously I have a reputation to uphold. And a delicate chord to strike; this is a work function, after all. It’s the grand opening of our new building. All of Oban’s titans of industry (????) will be in attendance.
I must present myself as professional!
Capable!
Confident!
Approachable!
Not a liability, in any way!
Auditioning now for body doubles.
Are YOU coming on Saturday? Open day and canapes at Backpackers Plus, see y’all there.
Also, what should I do with my hair? I feel like I’m ‘between haircuts’ at the minute and would really appreciate some sensible suggestions, such as “get extensions to make it even more mullet-y”.
I got back from Germany yesterday, and back to Oban about 3 hours ago, to find a package waiting for me. From the one and only glorious, gorgeous Irene!
In amongst a whole lot of fabulous goodies, there was some tooth blackening enamel, attractively modelled by me above. Can’t wait to get busy creeping everyone out with this!
In the meantime, I’m freakin’ shattered from all the beer I had to drink last weekend, so … I’ll have to come up with something more intelligent for Thursday’s post. Look forward to it, dear reader, you know what I’m like Xx
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digital imologue 