Tag Archives: friends

das Wochenende

19 Oct

Today’s post is about two German things.  One of them is Agi, the other is the Glasgow Oktoberfest.

remember when I went to Germany in May?  https://imogenmaxwell.com/2013/05/10/life-is-a-biergarten/

remember when I went to Germany in May?

First things first.

On Thursday I partied with these sexy mofos up in Oban.

United nations.

United nations.

It was also attempt #2 at my second wig assessment with Agi as my model.  Regular readers will remember LAST Thursday’s disaster when the assessment during class time had to be abandonned.  It went much better this time around!

Here’s the step-by-step in pictures.

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OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

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I used… Ben Nye eyeshadows in Green As Fuck and Golden Shower (not real eyeshadow names, I just can’t be bothered going to check) mixed with Illamasqua sealing gel.  The black outline is a Barry M liquid liner, the white is that white cream makeup I’ve mentioned a million times.  I don’t think it has a brand.  Get on eBay and search for “white cream makeup”, the one I use looks like this:

white cream makeup

… but I think they’re all pretty similar.  What is not similar is the price.  If you buy that ish in a costume shop, you’re looking at about £12.  Online it’s £1.75.  Sorry local business, but I just can’t.  When I start earning proper money I will support you again, but for now, it’s online all the way.

Anyway, the foundation is Illamasqua Rich Liquid and the blush is a MAC Mineralize one that I am quite fond of.  The wig is a cheapy from eBay as well.  It’s actually got a long side-fringe but it was pinned out the way to show the anime eyes.

Hopefully this will fly with the college.  They weren’t too in love with the idea of me doing the assessment not-at-college, but you know me, flogstars.  I like to just go for it anyway.

So that was Thursday.  On Friday Chloe and I returned to Glasgow, I quickly threw on my dirndl and we were out the door sharpish for the Glasgow Oktoberfest with a handful of our other pals from Oban.

"Squeezy" Lou and Chloe

“Squeezy” Lou and Chloe

As a beer-festival expert, I noticed a few things about Scotland’s attempt at this greatest of all occasions that were a bit… different to how they do it in Germany.  Firstly, PLASTIC mass glasses and wine carafes.  PLASTIC!  And there were also two security guards and one cop per person.  I suppose both of these details are a necessary evil in these parts.

It was only £2.50 to get in to the beer tent (good) and there wasn’t any allocated seating (also good, although if it had been full it would have been a problem).

The two biggest heartbreaks were the beer and the food.  We had tickets for a meal and ordering it was quite the comedy of errors.  After the third delivery of wrong food, the waiter actually had a tantrum and walked off.  I had to chase after him and dry his tears and coax him into doing his damn job properly.  Lucky I am so persuasive.  This was at about 7pm, when the tent was still half empty and everyone was still sober.  That little bitch would have had one of the longest nights of his life if he couldn’t cope with our table.

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The one on the right is either a plate of sauce or sauerkraut mixed with mashed potato (two of the things we didn’t order but received anyway)

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No.

My problem with the beer is also two-part; the fact that it was MID-STRENGTH, and also £8.50 for a big one – which wasn’t even a litre!  You should see the look on my face as I am typing this.  Chloe and I had one ‘mass’ each and realised that we could sit there drinking that watered down, not-even-German shit all night and walk out of there not even the tinest bit wobbly.

I panicked and bought two bottles of wine, hoping that it, at least, would have alcohol in it.  I was disappointed, of course, as they had watered it down too.  WITH WATER.  I wish I was joking.  And I know what you must be thinking; pissed bitch yells at bar staff because she is so drunk she can’t taste the alcohol in her beverage.  No, dear reader.  I was as sober as a judge, and so was Chloe.

We had started to lose our sense of humour at this stage.  We had paid good money – far too much good money – for this watered-down crap, so good ole Chlo went and complained to the arse behind the bar and made him open two new bottles and tip them into a carafe in front of us.  Ha.

my hero

my hero

I look at this photo and want to travel back in time and stop myself from drinking it.

I look at this photo and want to travel back in time and stop myself from drinking it.

But time travel hasn't been invented yet.

But time travel hasn’t been invented yet.

Stop, stop, stop, you don't have to drink the whole thing!

Stop, stop, stop, you don’t have to drink the whole thing!

And another thing.  Wearing a dirndl has never before put me at a disadvantage…

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… but at Glasgow’s Oktoberfest, it was a huge mistake – everybody thought I worked there.  Worse, because my dirndl was different to the actual staff (mine was blue and covers my ass, theirs were pink and didn’t) I was mistaken for some sort of authority figure, so people were coming to me with their problems all night.  “Where’s our food”, “we ordered 6 beers but only got 5”, etc etc etc.  Gah!

Jenny gets the money shot

Jenny gets the money shot

So, for any of you thinking of attending the Glasgow Green Oktoberfest this or next weekend, here are my hints.  Arrive drunk, and find or win a lot of money that you don’t mind wasting on non-alcoholic beer and wine before you go.  Also, don’t be awesome and wear a dirndl, and wear wellington boots because they erected the tent on a bog.

Oh, and don’t use the Groupon £15 for two tickets offer – it’s the worst value for money ever.  The allocated seating doesn’t exist, you only get a half-pint of MID-STRENGTH beer, you have no choice with the food they give you (which is two nasty little Farmfoods sausages on a plate of chips) and all that shit bought separately would come in cheaper.

Humph.  I’m all annoyed now.  I am actually most pissed off with myself for panic-drinking that wine.  A huge rip off that ended the night early.  What a waste!  Oh well, there will be plenty more opportunities to unleash my inner German beast.

Until such a time, here’s Scorpions.  They’re German, and awesome.

xX happy Saturday, tiny dancers

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the results are in

18 Sep

I strongly dislike airbrushing.  It’s frustrating.  The guns we use at college aren’t the best, and it’s impossible to clean them properly.  That, and our class is 20-odd chicas, so we all have to share.  Everything.  All the time.  There’s one of each thing we need, and 20 people wanting to use it at the same time.  Gah!

I just... don't like sharing.

I just… don’t like sharing.

And as previously mentioned, the makeup itself is minging.  It has turned my skin to that of a 14 year old boy, yet when it’s on my face, sinking into my pores and wrinkles and looking like a thick hideous mask, that ugly crap somehow manages to make me look 100 years old.  Bah!

Anyway, that’s today’s makeup bitch.  Airbrushing will come in handy when it’s body-paintin’ time…

stencil time

stencilicious

…I just don’t like it on my face.  And college is awesome, in fact, and we only have to do airbrushing for another couple of weeks before we move on to other stuff.

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And even though there are more people than required materials in the class, mostly everyone’s mostly cool.  The tutors are all great, and it’s nice to sit in a classroom without wishing your time away.

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I pay so much attention.

So this week, apart from hating on airbrush guns, we’ve been doing normal basic makeup/foundation…

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makeup is gross

makeup is gross

….and we also continued with studio portraits for our portfolio production.  Here are some behind the scenes shots for your enjoyment:

my view

my view

their view
their view
then we got fancy AND schmancy with the lighting

then we got fancy AND schmancy with the lighting

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snap.

snap.

So that’s what’s going oooon, dear reader.  Tomorrow, computer class in the a.m. and WIG-WORK in the afternoon!  Couldn’t you just die?

Here’s Def Leppard with their 1983 (a very good year) single, Photograph.  From Pyromania, back when Rick had both arms.  It’s not my favourite DL song, but it’s not my least favourite either – and it’s topical, so bloody well listen to it, alright?  😉

 

x Imo

what a week

22 Jul

I’m lying in bed with my laptop on my chest, full of cake and hangover, but smiling through the pain.  Thanks to my family and friends for indulging me, spoiling me, celebrating with me this weekend – feeling very loved and overwhelmed by everyone’s generosity.

So how does one turn 30, Imo-style?  Well.

I went down to Glasgow to scope out my new local area…

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… continued filming How I Killed Your Father with the delightful David Fernandez…

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… got the surprise of my life when Irene came over from Denmark to surprise me for my birthday…

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… celebrated the shit out of said birthday, by having a Tarantino co-party with other July baby Agapantha…

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can I just point out, the reason I look knackered is too-clever shading and contouring I did so I would look like I had been up all night taking cocaine with Vincent Vega. Not actually so hag-faced in real life, I swear.
Many thanks to resident pastry chef (and fellow Adelaide girl) Keva for the raspberry and white chocolate cheesecake – yummm.  Check out her blog here and I challenge you to NOT lick your computer screen.

 

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Colin as Stuntman Mike. Scar by me.

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Ian getting tatted up a la George Clooney in Dusk Til Dawn

… and ripped all my clothes off and jumped into Loch Lomond with Faye, because why not.

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This coming week I’m ordering all the kit to start my course next month, but even more exciting than bruise wheels and liquid latex is this – my adventure down to London with Chloe for the David Bowie Is exhibition at the V&A.  Giddy up!

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ain’t she just the best

So just this once I’ll deviate from the usual hair metal that only I give a shit about, and leave you with the great man himself.  A new version of this song is being used to advertise a mobile phone at the moment so here you go, get educated.

You can substitute the lyrics to be “blue, blue, electric blue, is the colour of my poo” if you like.

Until next time, be good.  Xx

smiles all round

14 May
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I’m too sexy for this tooth

I got back from Germany yesterday, and back to Oban about 3 hours ago, to find a package waiting for me.  From the one and only glorious, gorgeous Irene!

In amongst a whole lot of fabulous goodies, there was some tooth blackening enamel, attractively modelled by me above.  Can’t wait to get busy creeping everyone out with this!

In the meantime, I’m freakin’ shattered from all the beer I had to drink last weekend, so … I’ll have to come up with something more intelligent for Thursday’s post.  Look forward to it, dear reader, you know what I’m like Xx

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mullet + biker boots + dirndl = ??

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my nasty little plait is no match for Chloe’s

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but I am getting better at fish-tail plaiting!

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sober

Irish you a happy hangover

19 Mar

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Oh hai.

Sunday night I was at the pub painting faces for St Patrick’s day celebrations.  I did my own makeup using MAC Pigment in a light green and various dark brown pencils and shadows to create a smokey eye.  I put false eyelashes on but they pretty quickly gave me the shits so I ripped them off not long after I took these photos.

I’ve used falsies a lot in the past so I’m not sure exactly what went wrong with these ones; they were cheap (not a deal-breaker) and “pre-glued” (a fallacious concept) so I put more glue on them, and things quickly went pear-shaped.  They were itching to buggery so off they went.  Shame.  I do love a good flutter.

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So then it was off to the pub to decorate everyone else, but first I went via the hostel and painted Chloe as a green tiger while she was on reception.  Just for practice.

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and here is (almost) everybody else!

everybody

Then I let Chloe do my makeup…

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Which she was very happy with…

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And a whale of a time was had by all.  Thanks very much to Lindsay at Markie’s for being a gracious host as always, and Sandra MacBeth for the banter-tastic entertainment!  I hope you’re all not feeling so green now that you’ve had a big sleep and lots of water.

This week I will hear (hopefully) about whether I have been offered a place on the HND Makeup Artistry course @ Clydebank… keep your fingers crossed for me.  Maybe this photo will bring some luck ‘o the Irish – I present to you some of my lovely staff 🙂

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Happy Tuesday, little crumbs xX

Vegemite and lip tattoos – Colin rides again

17 Mar

After the last post featuring my housemate Colin’s nipples, I have been deluged with requests, fan mail, bribes, marriage proposals, weird fan-art, and all sorts of messages and trinkets that I was supposed to pass on to him, but didn’t.

Some of the more savoury suggestions you sent in, dear readers, included things you wanted me to do to Colin’s lucious lips.  Which is why we are here today, to try out the lip tattoos given to me for Christmas by my babelicous Danish friend, Irene.

Here’s me with Irene, in Glasgow, December 2011, on our way to the Def Leppard/Motley Crue/Steel Panther gig.

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So Irene gave me, amongst other fabulous gifts, some lip transfer/tattoos.

As made famous by Jessie J

As made famous by Jessie J

They’re just like the temporary tattoos that we all played with as kids (I don’t still play with them, HAHAHAHAHAHAA).  You cut the tattoo to fit the size and shape of your lips, peel off the plastic, wet the tattoo generously with cold water, press it on then carefully lift away the paper backing once the tattoo is stuck to the skin.

Colin assumes the position

Colin assumes the position

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But I just didn’t think that was creepy enough, so I made his teeth pointy.

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These pointy teeth were created with…

yes, Vegemite!

yes, Vegemite!

… although if you want a longer-lasting pointy tooth, get some tooth enamel.  Otherwise, as soon as you stop baring your teeth and start flapping your gums as normal, you’ll end up looking like you need to see the dentist urgently.

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So the lip tattoo lasted for an entire evening.

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And it lasted quite well.  I thought it would crack and peel but it didn’t, it just kind of faded.  He got a good few hours wear.

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And it wasn’t any ordinary night that the lip tattoo survived; it was Roadtrip Three Reunion night, where Chloe, Colin and I enjoyed a splendid slideshow of all the photos from the holiday we took together a year ago.  She-housemate Zoe might not have enjoyed it as much as we did, but she was a bloody good sport about it, and that’s why we love her 🙂

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