Tag Archives: Imogen Maxwell

gettin’ wiggy with it

6 Oct

That Will Smith song has been in my head for days, and now we must all suffer.  Let’s get it out the way at the beginning of the post so we can put it behind us, move on and never speak of it again.

 

So Thursday was a big day – a visit from the one and only Carissa (remember when I painted her boobs green?) in town for one night only, and two magnificent reasons.  Firstly, to model for my first wig assessment – and oh boy, model she did.  That girl knows how to throw a pose.

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me emptying a can of hairspray onto her dome to hold everything in place

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Carissa’s hair wrapped, pin-curled and sprayed, ready for the sexy head-sock

me looking a normal height for once

me looking a normal height for once

backstage madness

backstage madness

even more backstage madness

even more backstage madness

…and here are some of the snaps from our library photoshoot.  What you can’t hear is the tapping on the glass and wolf-whistling from the big group of lads sitting outside the library.  They were quite overwhelmed.

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Tutor Janet seemed happy with the way they turned out, so once they’re edited etc I’m pretty sure they’ll be good enough for assessment.

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Carissa’s hair once the pincurls were taken out, heehee

So then we went out to celebrate at the Cathouse (I’m not proud), with our Finnish friends Reckless Love.  We turned up at the venue at about 9pm to find them coming back out on stage for their encore.  The whole thing was over by 9:30pm.  Can you believe it?

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We had fun even though we missed probably more than half the show.  Oh well.

In other news, I earned and spent my first Amazon voucher from doing online surveys.  Guilt free shopping cos technically it’s free!  Win!  Amongst other essentials (I got a copy of Aerosmith’s Pump for 1p!) I procured some Halloween accessories, black-out contacts and vampire fangs.  I don’t actually have any costume ideas, but it’s good to be prepared.  Not that I’ve been invited to any Halloween parties or anything… but it’s good to be prepared.   I’ll have to work out how to attach the fangs better… couldn’t get the dental adhesive to work properly, and it coated my mouth with its nastiness.  Bleugh.

black contacts

Give us a kiss.

Give us a kiss.

Speaking of Aerosmith’s Pump album, here they are with Love in an Elevator.  Two songs in one flog post?  I break all the rules.

 

Happy Monday, flogstars! Xx

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the results are in

18 Sep

I strongly dislike airbrushing.  It’s frustrating.  The guns we use at college aren’t the best, and it’s impossible to clean them properly.  That, and our class is 20-odd chicas, so we all have to share.  Everything.  All the time.  There’s one of each thing we need, and 20 people wanting to use it at the same time.  Gah!

I just... don't like sharing.

I just… don’t like sharing.

And as previously mentioned, the makeup itself is minging.  It has turned my skin to that of a 14 year old boy, yet when it’s on my face, sinking into my pores and wrinkles and looking like a thick hideous mask, that ugly crap somehow manages to make me look 100 years old.  Bah!

Anyway, that’s today’s makeup bitch.  Airbrushing will come in handy when it’s body-paintin’ time…

stencil time

stencilicious

…I just don’t like it on my face.  And college is awesome, in fact, and we only have to do airbrushing for another couple of weeks before we move on to other stuff.

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ermagherd

And even though there are more people than required materials in the class, mostly everyone’s mostly cool.  The tutors are all great, and it’s nice to sit in a classroom without wishing your time away.

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I pay so much attention.

So this week, apart from hating on airbrush guns, we’ve been doing normal basic makeup/foundation…

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makeup is gross

makeup is gross

….and we also continued with studio portraits for our portfolio production.  Here are some behind the scenes shots for your enjoyment:

my view

my view

their view
their view
then we got fancy AND schmancy with the lighting

then we got fancy AND schmancy with the lighting

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snap.

snap.

So that’s what’s going oooon, dear reader.  Tomorrow, computer class in the a.m. and WIG-WORK in the afternoon!  Couldn’t you just die?

Here’s Def Leppard with their 1983 (a very good year) single, Photograph.  From Pyromania, back when Rick had both arms.  It’s not my favourite DL song, but it’s not my least favourite either – and it’s topical, so bloody well listen to it, alright?  😉

 

x Imo

glamour doesn’t take a day off

8 Sep

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Which is why I find myself covered in aspirin and honey, and a head full o’ bleach on a Sunday night.

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I went to visit Melissa and Che in Edinburgh last night, cos I’m spontaneous like that.  We watched Pretty Woman, Che and I got drunk and Melissa didn’t because she’s pregnant, and I made Melissa up as a 90s hooker.  Please pay special attention to her lip-line, which was temporarily relocated half an inch down her chin and outlined in brown pencil.

If Melissa was a president, she'd be Baberaham Lincoln.

If Melissa was a president, she’d be Baberaham Lincoln.

Pammy knows it.

Pammy knows it.

Unrelated, but here’s another thin lip hero of mine, brought to mind because I spent all day watching Judge Judy.

SHHH!  DID I ASK YOU TO SPEAK?

SHHH! DID I ASK YOU TO SPEAK?

So, I hope you’ve all had a smashing weekend.  All one of you who reads this blog.  I’m talking to myself, I know.  The photo I put on my Facebook page of myself with no eyebrows (as in, a photo of a computer screen with a photo of me up on it, open in Photoshop) was a test, and not a particularly challenging one at that.  The photo linked to my flog, where it was revealed that I had, in fact, NOT shaved off my eyebrows.  A test that they all failed.  You didn’t fail, dear reader, because you read this lofty publication.  Now I know who my real friends are 😉

disgust

Anyway, here’s Echo and the Bunnymen with Lips Like Sugar because I talked about lips in this post and I like to tie that shit in.

Blogs and kisses Xx

no regrets

4 Sep
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I think it makes me look younger.

Only my second week at makeup school and I’ve shaved my eyebrows off.

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Just kidding, it was Photoshop all along.

Remember kids, if you DO shave your eyebrows off, you’ll need to learn how to quick-draw your emotions.

This week, I have also been learning AIRBRUSHING!

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Imogen Maxwell: Makeup GUN

In the chair is my college, carpool, Facebook, and real life friend Sinead.  We spray-painted each other new cheekbones and all.

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you can’t tell from the photo but my jawbone was contoured to within an inch of its life. Sinead looked at me in the mirror when she was done, and said “hmm… I’ve just made you look more like David Bowie than you ever meant to, I think.”

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to anyone who thinks beauty therapy and makeup artistry aren’t brain surgery, you are wrong.

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who wants a lash tint? Cos I can do that.

So as you can see, I’m doing lots and learning lots and having fun.  Happy days 🙂

Our (your, not my) respite from hair metal continues, dear reader, but not for much longer.  Today’s bangin’ tune is relevant because Rome WASN’T built in a day, and I’m also going to see Morcheeba with my other new friend Aoife.  Yep, I’ve fallen in with the Belfast Babes (finally, my dream of joining a gang and click-walking through the corridors is coming true).

Bliss n kisses, kittens

x x x

oh yeah, and about college

30 Aug

If you’re an avid Imogen Maxwell fan, you’ll have noticed an unusual amount of activity on my Instagram recently.

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That’s because I am unemployed and have no friends.

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and spend all day in H&M trying things on with absolutely no intention of buying them.  Star jumper crop top accessoried by my newly re-calibrated mullet, by David @ Rainbow Rooms Int, Royal Exchange Square

But considering I am unemployed and have no friends, I’ve been keeping quite busy.  Let me tell you about my first week at college.  The journey there was (before I found carpool friends) a shitty bus ride and a walk past this:

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Titan Crane, Queens Quay

to eventually end up here:

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My class is 21 ladies from all kinds of backgrounds; a few hairdressers, a few with completely unrelated degrees.  All of them lovely, none of them the terrifying supermodels I had feared.  Most of our sessions are spent in rooms like this:

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it was this photo that reminded me to get a haircut

wearing this:

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The coursework sounds like it’s going to be time consuming, expensive, and fucking amazing.  We’ll be doing everything; hairdressing, photography, digital editing, styling, location work, high fashion… everything.  I have so much to learn and I can’t wait to really get stuck in!  Win!

I was going to end this post with School’s Out by Alice Cooper, since it’s school-themed, but school’s only just gone back in so here he is with Trash instead (cos I love the way you look, you’re such a high class tramp).

 

Happy Friday, sexy readers Xx

GIF me a job

23 Aug

Can I just say… today is the first time I’ve been able to get a GIF to work on my flog.  So… someone, GIF me a high-five!

No?  Moving on.

Enrollment day went well.  Found the bus, got off at the right stop, didn’t accidentally join a gang.  Bit of a waste, really, because the long long corridors at the college would be PERFECT for menacing, West-Side-Story-style click-walking.

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not what actual gangs are like

not what actual gangs are like

My greatest fear was that my classmates would be all like

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unfriendly, 15 years old, and orange

but they weren’t.  They WERE younger than me but not by fifteen years.  They WERE a little orange (some of them) but that’s alright with me.

They were also all friendly, and everyone was a little nervous and unsure of what to expect, so it was fine.  There was lots of green/blue/pink/purple/silver hair and LOTS of facial piercings (so I shan’t be getting my lip pierced now, partly because it would make me the same as everyone else but mostly because I am pretty sure my mother would march right over here – yes, from Australia – and tear it out of my face if I did.  Yes, I am thirty years old, contemplating a facial piercing and not going ahead because my parents would kill me.  Shut up.)

So that’s enrollment all done, and classes begin on Tuesday.  The rest of this week was spent re-acquainting myself with my CV and exploring my local area.  I’ve applied for a couple of jobs but I’m having a bit of an identity crisis.  I was the boss-lady up in Oban for the last five years so the idea of NOT having any responsibility kind of appeals, yet I also want to earn more than the minimum wage.  What to do?

First things first, I should really sort my chipped black nail polish out.

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May as well have “I’m not getting the job, am I?” tattooed on my neck.

Today’s tune deviates once again from the metal of glam and hair.  Because I am multi-faceted, with layers.  Like an onion.  A lot like an onion actually.  Delicious, but no one will have me in case they have to kiss their girlfriend later.  Boom boom!  Just kidding.  ANYWAY.

I’ve been making the most of the kitchen in my new flat which has not one but TWO dance areas.  Brilliant.  My housemates couldn’t be lovelier either.  Lucky me.  So let’s party – hit play and dance around, fools.  Yes, I know it’s annoying ad-music, but live a little won’t you.  It’s fun.

Happy Friday, lovers – I’m off to whoop it up with Loz who’s coming for a visit from Oban tonight.  We’re going to scare the panties off Glasgow.

Xx

Flog or CLOG?

4 Aug

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Let’s face it, it may as well be the Chloe Maxwell blog/flog.

Here she is again, on her way to a friend’s Goths n’ Geeks themed party, rocking some goth makeup by me of course.  And wearing one of my former favourite tshirts too.  Oh, I do like a tshirt with a hood, I do.

Red eyeshadow by Napoleon Perdis (donated to me by the thunder down under, Miss Jacqui Mossop, who handed it over some years ago with a “I don’t know what I was thinking, here, you take it” – and I’ve had a surprising amount of use out of it.)  The colour might not be your/anyone’s cup of tea but the product itself is good; highly pigmented, super-fine powder eyeshadow that applied and blended really well over my Makeup Forever eye primer.

The black around her eyes is Snazaroo face paint, which made Chloe’s eyes water to buggery – don’t put that shit on your waterline, people, it doesn’t belong there.

The red hair spray is something from Superdrug, I dunno, Chloe bought it.  Ergo it was probably cheap, but it applied well and came out sans drama.

Chloe’s pallor is largely natural but she is also sporting:

  • Benefit Realness of Concealness yellow concealer under her eyes to counter her blueish-purple douche bags;
  • Sephora skin primer to fill in/smooth over the skin surface for flawless foundation;
  • Maybelline Dream Matt Mousse in its palest shade (although only where needed, most of that is her own lily-white complexion);
  • a touch of Boots No 7 green primer on her cheeks and across the bridge of her nose as she was heading to a party with drinking so this was all in aid of keeping her snowy-white and not looking like a red-faced drunkard in any photos.

The black lipstick is Illamasqua, and an excellent example of how dark lipstick on a … not-Angelina-Jolie-lipped lady can visually thin the lips quite spectacularly.

I am personally crusading to bring the thin lip back in to fashion.  It seems I am alone in this quest, as I couldn’t find a photo of a human with lips thin enough for my liking, and so… to the cartoons.  Some of my favourites have got it goin’ on, observe:

I know she's traditionally considered a villain but I think Ursula is misunderstood.

I know she’s traditionally considered a villain but I think Ursula is misunderstood.

Ursula is an excellent example of working with what you’ve got; her hair, nails and makeup are flawless (just LOOK at that uniformly purple skin!) and she refuses to be body-shamed into putting on a cardigan.

She’s also not afraid of drawing attention to that slimline lip there.  I hope to look something like this when I’m in my 70s.

Pink, purple, stripey and a lil bit sleazy. Miow!

Pink, purple, stripey and a lil bit sleazy. Meow!

No lips to speak of on this guy, yet he still cuts a fine figure.  I like the cut of the Cheshire Cat’s jib in general actually; why give everything away when you can be all smoke and mirrors?

I hope, like him, that when I disappear/fade away/shuffle off this mortal coil, I’ll be so unfathomably fabulous that no one will ever quite believe I was here in the first place.

Here’s to doing it differently, lovers xX

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