Archive | November, 2013

gel eyeliner product review

29 Nov

oh hey.  Just thought I’d do a sneaky cheeky product review, since I never normally do them, and hey – maybe some people actually arrive at looking for ACTUAL INFORMATION about makeup.

Not just thousands upon thousands of photos taken in the mirror during class? Just maybe.

SEE?  It's not just me.

SEE? It’s not just me.

Anyway, so here we have Barry M Waterproof Gel Eyeliner (colour: No. 1, £5.49), and Superdrug’s own-brand MUA (MakeUp Academy) Gel Eyeliner (colour: Underground, £3).



As you can see, the packaging is exactly the same for both.  They both have little brushes in the lids which is nifty.  We don’t really use liquid liners at college because there’s no sensible way to hygienically apply them (double-dipping is, like, the hugest no-no) but with gel liners, you can just scoop out what you need onto the back of your hand and then apply it to Chloe’s face with your lovely clean brush.

Gel liner is good for pretty much all the same things liquid liner is good for.  But it’s easier to use, wobbles and mistakes don’t show up quite so much, you don’t need to be quite so precise.  It usually dries quite quickly.  You can get a few different effects depending on how you put it on/what brushes you use.

Use it to create a catseye 60s flick.  Sometimes, when I have lots of time on my hands, I do me a nice big Winehouse flick starting first with pencil, then gel liner over the top, then liquid eyeliner over the top of that to give it that real crisp outline.

I still prefer pencil on my waterline though; gel can be a little flaky.

If you want to get that nice dramatic Avril Lavigne panda-eye, put it all over your lid and blend it all about.  Go for it but move quickly with a fluffy brush to soften the edges.  It’ll then act as a black primer basically, and you can put more black powder eyeshadow over the top to set it and darken it up even more if you like.

The Barry M wins the race between these two; it’s blacker, and it’s permanent.  Whenever I use it at college, I can scrub as much as I like but that shit stays on the back of my hand for about 36 hours.

Which makes an excellent conversation starter; “what’s that black crap on your hand?” and then I get to talk about my journey to becoming a makeup artist, starting about 15 years ago, right through to the present day.

Happy lining, flogstars!  Xx

I’ll be your dream, I’ll be your wish, I’ll be your FANTASY!

27 Nov

Don’t worry friends, I won’t put THAT Savage Garden song anywhere near this post.  (You’ll have to click through here to see what I’m talking about if you don’t already know.)

Anyway – FANTASY FACE!  That’s right flogstars.  We’re straying into krazy katwalk territory now; welcome to the Fantasy Face unit of advanced makeup techniques.

The story so far:

Tutor Gillian demonstrating on Jordan

Tutor Gillian demonstrating on Jordan

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dirty girls


I studded Shinnerz right up


… then contoured her to within an inch of her life


She got her revenge by putting a fishnet stocking on my heid to create a fish-scaley effect, and turned me into a merman

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So we’ve got another few weeks of this, the only two criteria for assessment being that we have to use “skin additions” (sticking pretty much anything on) and the design has to go down on to the neck.  One two three GO!

Here’s Tesla with Modern Day Cowboy, cos that’s what you are, you sexy little flogstar.  Love your guts.


25 Nov

I’ve been called worse.


You’ll be miffed to hear that in the beauty industry, this most evil of machines whirring away to sell us our own insecurities, a lady is classed as “mature” once she’s 27.  LOL!


As such, throughout this flog post, the word “mature” will be appearing in sarcastic quotey marks.

“Mature” makeup is one of the looks we cover in basic makeup (along with basic bridal, Asian bridal, basic female and male makeup, and evening makeup).  As with any makeup you’re doing on anyone, you start by (gasp) asking your client/model/Chloe what they want, what they usually wear, what kind of look they’re going for etc etc.  Then you moisturise their mug and get busy.

Tutor Caroline did the demonstration on the lovely, remarkably good-skinned Mum-of-Rachel, Elaine.

like mother, like daughter -  gorgeous!

like mother, like daughter – gorgeous!

So what’s different about makeup on the more “mature” skin, then?

Basically, matte powders – rather than shimmery cremes – are more flattering around the eye area as they sink less obviously into fine lines.  Also, you apply all the makeup about an inch higher than you would on an “immature” face, so that when the skin is relaxed (ie not being stretched hither and thither for the makeup artist to be grinding their powders and potions in), it’s where you want it.  On a less-elastic lid, for example, your lovely liner might disappear under a fold of skin when your model’s eye doesn’t have your finger propping it open.



And that’s basically it.

Angela (27) and I did our “mature” assessments on each other’s dewy skinned faces.

Nubile as.

Nubile as.

So that’s that, kittycats.  Here are some other “mature” faces for you to admire before tonight’s singalong.

Dame Edna Everage: Australian superhero

Dame Edna Everage: Australian superhero

My bosom buddy, my wig hero, Dolly Parton I LOVE YOU

My bosom buddy, my wig hero, Dolly Parton I LOVE YOU

And now, a song.  Here’s someone’s hillwalking video I weirdly stole from YouTube.  Soundtrack is In a Big Country, by our friends… Big Country.  Band and scenery are Scottish.


Until next time Xx

meet Dana

17 Nov

last name Scully.

look at my new boots vying for attention in the corner there!

look at my new boots vying for attention in the corner there!

He is my skull ring.  He was named after Dana Carvey and it’s just a coincidence that his last name is Scully like Agent Scully from the X Files and he’s a skull.  Regular readers will recognise Dana from every photo of my left hand.  Sometimes he’s on my thumb.  He’s with me always.  He’s a cheap piece of shit I bought from which is where I get a lot of my cheap, badass stuff.

Once I’m rolling in the kind of money that will come with my imminent glittering career in makeup artistry, I’ll be adding to my collection via German designer Thomas Sabo and The Great Frog – home of wow.  Most coveted at the moment is this skull cuff:

I love you, why are you so expensive, will you ever be mine and do you love me too?

I love you, why are you so expensive, will you ever be mine and do you love me too?

… and next thing you know I’ll be rocking up to work in one of these:

for illustration purposes only, not actual mode of transport, it's an ornament calm down everyone

for illustration purposes only, not actual mode of transport, it’s an ornament calm down everyone

In that top photo of my hand, if you look closely you’ll notice that my nails have weird ridges in them.  That’s because I bought a miniature angle grinder masquerading as an electric nail buffer, for £3 on Amazon.  I do not recommend.  It’s going to take ages for my nails to get back to normal, and thanks also to my Quik-e-Mart job ravaging my hands they’re not going to grow out any time soon either.  UGH!  I miss my claws.

Anyway.  Time to get off the internet and go meet Chloe for lunch. Happy Sunday, flogstars – hope you’re keepin’ it lazy like you should be.

back to Bowie

15 Nov

Bowie fact of the day: a schoolyard scuffle left the pupil of one of his eyes permanently dilated, giving the impression that his eyes are different colours when in fact… they’re not.

Bowie GIF of the day:

bowie gif


Bowie song of the day (I dedicate this one to you, you sexy flogstars):

Aaaahhhh… that’s better, isn’t it?  Let’s not leave it so long between Bowie binges again, mmmkay?


rumours of my disappearance have been greatly exaggerated

13 Nov

I’m alive and well, flogstars – I’ve just been a lazy bastard.  A busy one actually, and over a week has passed without a post because I’ve been flat out like a lizard drinking (apologies, just getting my Australian lingo back up to scratch for the imminent visit home).

kangaroo gif

Here’s a quick recap of … some things I did.

Flog devotees (hey, you) will remember how hard I had made Chloe slave in the lead-up to the body painting assessment.  The day came and I was as prepared as I could be.  I’d burnt though nearly a whole cake each of orange, black and white Snazaroo paints in the practice sessions.  Chloe’s torso was practically raw from having stripes scraped onto it with my cheap shitty brushes.


Doing the design plan right before I started the painting. Yes, that’s a toothbrush in my mouth. Imogen Maxwell: Eleventh Hour Calm is what I shall call my first autobiography.

And it came together pretty well.  I had pulled together some good accessories – the black claw-nails, white fluffy eyebrows that I’d originally procured to use on Agi for the doomed oompa-loompa wig assessment, tiger ears headband, vampire fangs that wouldn’t bloody well stay in so I ended up Blu-Tac’ing them to Chloe’s incisors.

It's really hard to get a wide shot in the bodypainting studio without there being like a MILLION boobs in the background.  And you've got to watch all those mirrors too - oh lookee, there's Megan with her baps out behind Chloe there, heehee

It’s really hard to get a wide shot in the bodypainting studio without there being like a MILLION boobs in the background.

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All in all pretty happy with how it came up, and I passed, which is all that really matters.

That same day, Chloe stayed for the afternoon to be my model for Asian bridal makeup.  Heehee.





International heartbreakers

In non-makeup but Chloe-related news, it was her birthday this week so I made a tiramisu


… and we went out for drinks with Loz.


That’s all for today, my beloved flogstars.  I’ve got a bit to catch you up on so will post again soon.  And I’m thinking of completely changing up the format of the flog, so strap yourselves in.

And now, to bed… here’s Darren Hanlon with a lullaby to send you soundly to the land of nod.

baby you’re a firework

5 Nov
me for vendetta

me for vendetta

Happy bonfire night, flogstars.  Hope you’re not scared of fireworks.

be cool, be cool

be cool, be cool

Today is my bodypainting assessment; I’m as prepared as I can be, and ready for ACTION!

what my tiger bodypainting will not look like

what my tiger bodypainting will not look like


WTF?  They're cheap red pointy false nails, blue-tacked on to the end of makeup brushes, so I could paint them black.  They will be Chloe's claws.

WTF? They’re cheap red pointy false nails, blue-tacked on to the end of makeup brushes, so I could paint them black. They will be Chloe’s claws.

Here are some more halloween photos from the weekend to tide you over until I have new material.  These are just pub randoms, not my work.

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Alright, night night now.  Big day tomorrow… IT’S TIME TO PLAY THE GAME!  So here’s Motorhead to sing you to sleep, which they won’t be doing in Glasgow in November because the tour’s been postponed.  Gah.  That’s THREE TIMES now that I’ve NOT seen Motorhead.  Anyway, sweet dreams.


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