Tag Archives: Pretty Woman

the early bird catches the worm (gross)

23 Jan

It’s true that the early risers, by default, have ended up setting the schedule for the rest of us dreamers.  We were too busy snoozing to stop them.  Which is kind of annoying if you think about it.  I think there should be a revolution to overthrow this cruel regime in which people are expected to BE PRODUCTIVE in the morning.  Mornings are for eating croissants and taking your sweet time waking up, don’t you think?

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or pancakes

The problem with the ‘morning people’ is that they say things like “I just can’t stay in bed past 8am, even on the weekends!  It feels like I’m wasting the day.”  When people say something like that, what I hear is “I am terrified of being alone with my subconscious, and I am also oblivious to the fun that can be had in a bed at any time of the day”.

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And ‘wasting the day’ – what pish!  What about wasting the deep, dark, glorious night?  You’d have to be a bit evil to go to bed at 7:45pm so you can bounce out of bed at 5:30am the next day for no reason other than to lord it over everyone else.

Or maybe the morning people aren’t sinister at all, maybe they’re just scared of the dark, maybe they just like first go with the newspaper before it gets big splodges of jam on it.  Who’s to know?  So long as they can mask their amusement/disgust at my genuine emotional agony, as I stumble around the kitchen, blind, bloodshot and whimpering, seeking the coffee by smell and touch alone.

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Anyway.  The reason I’m telling you all this is because I have to BE somewhere at 8am on Friday for a (work experience) makeup job.  I say ‘somewhere’ because I don’t know where it is, all I know is it involves a train-ride (sounds miles away doesn’t it) which will mean leaving home at … what, like 6:30am potentially?  That’s the middle of the fucking night!  But it’ll be good.  This comes at a time when lots of fun and interesting makeup work experience opportunities have just sprung up.

On Monday just gone I helped out at a photoshoot that a handful of photography students from my college were doing…

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me doing mega-babe Victoria’s makeup

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DSLR magician Sharon shooting up a storm

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being really helpful holding the light reflector thingy

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In fact there are quite a few fun and exciting shoots coming up, so brace yourselves for some … significantly more professional-looking photos of the makeup I do.  It’s funny, just recently I was really freaking out about where to find the models and photographers I knew I’d need to whip up a decent portfolio.  Now it seems, uh, doable.  It’s because I’m so well-connected.

Don’t worry flogstars, the photos might get more professional, but we’ll still be playing it pretty fast and loose here at Imogen Maxwell Dot Com.  No matter how fancy and professional the photos become, they’ll still be accompanied by my sparkling banter and a bit o’ not-related classic rock or hair metal.  Which brings us to tonight’s tune… oh what shall I pick?

A bit o’ not-related not-classic-rock-or-hair-metal!  I heard this lil number whilst meandering around WordPress, and it’s been stuck in my heid for a few days, which as you’ve probably noticed is the most important factor in deciding what goes up on the ole flog here.  ENJOY.

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glamour doesn’t take a day off

8 Sep

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Which is why I find myself covered in aspirin and honey, and a head full o’ bleach on a Sunday night.

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I went to visit Melissa and Che in Edinburgh last night, cos I’m spontaneous like that.  We watched Pretty Woman, Che and I got drunk and Melissa didn’t because she’s pregnant, and I made Melissa up as a 90s hooker.  Please pay special attention to her lip-line, which was temporarily relocated half an inch down her chin and outlined in brown pencil.

If Melissa was a president, she'd be Baberaham Lincoln.

If Melissa was a president, she’d be Baberaham Lincoln.

Pammy knows it.

Pammy knows it.

Unrelated, but here’s another thin lip hero of mine, brought to mind because I spent all day watching Judge Judy.

SHHH!  DID I ASK YOU TO SPEAK?

SHHH! DID I ASK YOU TO SPEAK?

So, I hope you’ve all had a smashing weekend.  All one of you who reads this blog.  I’m talking to myself, I know.  The photo I put on my Facebook page of myself with no eyebrows (as in, a photo of a computer screen with a photo of me up on it, open in Photoshop) was a test, and not a particularly challenging one at that.  The photo linked to my flog, where it was revealed that I had, in fact, NOT shaved off my eyebrows.  A test that they all failed.  You didn’t fail, dear reader, because you read this lofty publication.  Now I know who my real friends are 😉

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Anyway, here’s Echo and the Bunnymen with Lips Like Sugar because I talked about lips in this post and I like to tie that shit in.

Blogs and kisses Xx

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