Tag Archives: tutorial

emo eyebrows

9 Mar

Oh, but I was in a truly foul mood yesterday.  Not even I wanted to hang out with me.  Things were desperately grim.  There was only one thing for it; a huge frown.  A metres-deep furrowing of the brow.  A grimace so cavernous it would make you dizzy.

BUT!  Pulling such a face is bad business – what if the wind changed?  And who wants wrinkles?  Audrey Hepburn herself said “happy girls are the prettiest girls”.  As I contemplated how to reconcile this titanic conundrum, it occurred to me that I could just draw an expression on my face.  After all, with makeup, anything is possible.

Voila – anyone I encountered would know that I was shitty as all hell, but my fore-skin (time-saving contraction of the words ‘forehead’ and ‘skin’) would remain ‘smooth’ and ‘unblemished’, faithful gatekeeper of the secret of my age.

So I whipped out the eyeliner (not brow pencil… not today – I needed sharper lines than my soft crayons would provide), and sharpened it real good.  When DIY-ing an eyebrow, what you’re looking to do is draw wee hairs.  None of your thick stripes and long lines; sketch on little bits here and there to fill in.  This is what you want, to enhance or alter the overall effect of your existing brows.  And you need a sharp pencil for that.  Unless of course the look you are going for is a deliberate thick line, which certainly has its place.

But anyway – here is my grumpy brow.

grumpy eyebrows

OOOOH look how ANGRY that looks!  SUPER PISSED OFF!

Then I felt sad that I had wasted any time at all feeling so bloody awful, and yet again didn’t want to pull a face, so I just drew on some sad eyebrows, for demonstration purposes.  Here they are.

sad eyebrows

Awwww, don’t you just want to sweep me into your arms and tell me that everything is going to be OK?

Now, I know what you’re thinking.  “Bloody Imo, there she goes pulling faces and editing photos again.”  Oh no.  Scroll back up so both sets of peepers are on the screen, the cover both sets of eyebrows with your hands.  See?  My expression in both of these photos was actually completely neutral.

And it’s so easy to do.  Too lazy to engage your facial muscles to express an emotion?  You can buy an eyeliner pencil for as little as 50p at H&M, and moving your face will then be a thing of the past, if you so desire.

Angry brows are created by thickening the inner corner of your natural brow line.  Start below rather than above your natural shape.  Bring the start-point of your brows slightly in towards each other, and create a harder angle up into the arch than you naturally have.  The brow should finish shorter than your natural brows, and above the natural line.  Basically, frown in the mirror, take note, relax your expression and draw it on.  When you’ve done one brow, sharpen the pencil before moving on to the next.

Sad brows start higher in the inner corner and finish lower on the outer edges.  They’re also longer.  Smudge them out and down.  There is also more distance between them.  Do this, then sit back, relax and wait for everyone to come up to you all day and night saying “are you ok?  Can I get you anything?”

So there you have it.  You might not ever have the need or want to do this.   But now you know.  Makeup is so much more than covering something up or making your irises ‘pop’.

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St Patrick’s day nails

3 Mar

First up today, a bit of housekeeping – apologies to any bitterly disappointed readers who, like me, were unable to take advantage of the e.l.f sale I posted about the other day – I didn’t realise they only deliver to Canada and the USA.  Secondly, thank you all so much for clicking through to see a photo of me in a bra – site views were through the roof the last couple of days!  How exciting.

And now, you’ve had your fun(bags)… Back to the serious business of MAKEUP!

So what I attempted to do here was some kind of St Patrick’s Day manicure, using the two Illamasqua nailpolishes I got as part of a mystery pack I bought a few weeks ago.  The dark one (Rampage) is a nice dark ninja-turtle green that looks black until you go outside.  It’s good.  I like nailpolish that looks black but isn’t.

My idea was to do a reverse French manicure that looked like a glass of Guinness, and then I was like, BACK IT UP – I’VE GOT DARK AND LIGHT GREEN NAILPOLISH, so why not make it look like a Guinness with nasty-ass green food dye in it, just like how they serve it on St Patrick’s Day in the pub!!!  And a mediocre idea was born.

nail polishDSC04728DSC04730

I almost didn’t put these pictures up because I made such a pig’s ear of it – look at that, er, black four-leaf clover.

Moving right along, I painted my right hand with Barry M Nail Paint in #284 Emerald Green.  Barry M Nail Paints are yet another example of an excellent UK high-street cosmetic brand; their stuff is only a few quid and it’s just as good as what you’d pay ten times as much for.  Experiment and get crazy with all the colours, yo.  It won’t cost you.

nail polish2 (2)  barry m

Fly, my pretties, get your tacky green on – and remember, if you go back far enough… You.  Are.  Irish.

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