Tag Archives: Academy Awards

a celebration

16 Oct

Today at imogenmaxwell.com, we’re celebrating one year, one hundred posts and almost ten thousand views.  To commemorate, I thought we’d go over a few of the highs and lows we’ve been through to get here.  Well, highs really, we don’t really DO lows at imogenmaxwell.com.

My site stats reveal some interesting, if completely unsurprising things about you all.

The most popular search engine terms that lead people to this, the greatest flog in all the land, are as follows:

  • Imogen Maxwell (who is googling me and why, is what I want to know)
  • Cutepolish face (sorry everyone, I’m not the enigmatic Canadian of the fabulous nail design channel on YouTube)
  • Pink mascara
  • Big boobs in dirndl
  • Tan body white face

Good to see our priorities are all in order, then.  I was also flattered to find that the 3 most clicked-on photos ever on this site are:

any swelling?

any swelling?

hulk

would it bother you to know that I was butt naked when I took this photo? You should see what’s cropped out of it. How far down did I paint myself green?… I’ll never tell!

boom

So you guys have a thing for a lady in costume with her baps out, eh?  Boy, are you in luck.  Halloween’s right around the corner, this is YOUR time of year!

And last of all, the three most-viewed posts in order are:

  • Tan body white face – perhaps I should delve more into this topic seeing as you are all so interested in how to look uniformly pale like me?
  • Body painting, Week 1 – pipped at the post by THREE views, as of today, and no bloody wonder – the only actual nipples to appear live on imogenmaxwell.com!  A big thanks to Jen for raising my stats, if you know what I mean.
  • BRAvissIMO! – me appearing in my bra on the internet for the first time (that I am aware of)
  • …and Call me crazy, in which I’m in my bra yet again, this time in aid of marriage equality.

What a journey we’ve been on, dear reader.  You’ve seen me blossom from amateur makeup artiste wannabe in my bedroom in Oban, to amateur makeup artiste wannabe in my bedroom in Glasgow.  From backpacker queen extraordinaire, applying all sorts of crazy slap to my friends… to … makeup school attendee who doesn’t really have any friends so now has to practice makeup on herself all the time instead.

Every click, every like, every “you are SO hilarious!” that you bestow upon me (in my dreams)… this flog is nothing without its devout readers, and I thank both each and every one of you for your ongoing support.  I will  be sure to mention you all in my Academy Award acceptance speech which will probably be in 2022, but if you can hang in there with me you will get the recognition.

Here’s Boston with More Than A Feeling.  Tune up those air guitars and let’s do this thang.

men, makeup and me

24 Jun

Did you know that most of the winners of the Academy Award for Best Makeup are men? I was kinda surprised by that.  I think we have some sexism here, folks.

Not sure who is being most sexist; me, for making assumptions about the makeup industry being chicks-only?  The film industry for giving all the good jobs to the boys?  Or the Academy for overlooking a shit-ton of talented women and only recognising the relatively few men in the industry?

Anyway, we’re not here today to delve too deeply into that.  I just thought I would draw it to your attention, as when I win an Oscar, I will be even more special because I’m a woman, and the world will be 0.00000000000000000000000000000001% less sexist in that moment.  I really am making this planet a better place for us all.

So.  As previously discussed:

  • while makeup CAN change the world;
  • no one NEEDS makeup (by this I mean you look fine just the way you are), but if you LIKE makeup and WANT to get involved;
  • makeup can be enjoyed by EVERYONE, and ANYONE can be good at it.

Glad we’ve cleared that up.

Speaking of men, makeup and the Oscars.  Whenever I am chatting to a male and they find out that I’m an aspiring makeup artiste, they’ll react in one of two ways.

Either ‘cool/that’s nice/tell me more/good for you/who cares let’s talk about the weather’, OR they’ll leap about screaming “NO WAY would I ever let you do my makeup!!!  Argh!  You’d make me look like a girl, do you even have a spare skirt with you and do you think your heels would fit???”

Image

One thing these two types of men have in common is that I didn’t offer to do their makeup.  Of course, I love doing male makeup and I also happen to think that:

  • there’s nothing wrong with men getting done up to look like girls, if they want;
  • there is such thing as makeup on men that still has them looking like men.

Have these people never heard of Jack Sparrow, Alice Cooper, Brandon Flowers?  Sheeeeesh.

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