Tag Archives: celebrity

a celebration

16 Oct

Today at imogenmaxwell.com, we’re celebrating one year, one hundred posts and almost ten thousand views.  To commemorate, I thought we’d go over a few of the highs and lows we’ve been through to get here.  Well, highs really, we don’t really DO lows at imogenmaxwell.com.

My site stats reveal some interesting, if completely unsurprising things about you all.

The most popular search engine terms that lead people to this, the greatest flog in all the land, are as follows:

  • Imogen Maxwell (who is googling me and why, is what I want to know)
  • Cutepolish face (sorry everyone, I’m not the enigmatic Canadian of the fabulous nail design channel on YouTube)
  • Pink mascara
  • Big boobs in dirndl
  • Tan body white face

Good to see our priorities are all in order, then.  I was also flattered to find that the 3 most clicked-on photos ever on this site are:

any swelling?

any swelling?

hulk

would it bother you to know that I was butt naked when I took this photo? You should see what’s cropped out of it. How far down did I paint myself green?… I’ll never tell!

boom

So you guys have a thing for a lady in costume with her baps out, eh?  Boy, are you in luck.  Halloween’s right around the corner, this is YOUR time of year!

And last of all, the three most-viewed posts in order are:

  • Tan body white face – perhaps I should delve more into this topic seeing as you are all so interested in how to look uniformly pale like me?
  • Body painting, Week 1 – pipped at the post by THREE views, as of today, and no bloody wonder – the only actual nipples to appear live on imogenmaxwell.com!  A big thanks to Jen for raising my stats, if you know what I mean.
  • BRAvissIMO! – me appearing in my bra on the internet for the first time (that I am aware of)
  • …and Call me crazy, in which I’m in my bra yet again, this time in aid of marriage equality.

What a journey we’ve been on, dear reader.  You’ve seen me blossom from amateur makeup artiste wannabe in my bedroom in Oban, to amateur makeup artiste wannabe in my bedroom in Glasgow.  From backpacker queen extraordinaire, applying all sorts of crazy slap to my friends… to … makeup school attendee who doesn’t really have any friends so now has to practice makeup on herself all the time instead.

Every click, every like, every “you are SO hilarious!” that you bestow upon me (in my dreams)… this flog is nothing without its devout readers, and I thank both each and every one of you for your ongoing support.  I will  be sure to mention you all in my Academy Award acceptance speech which will probably be in 2022, but if you can hang in there with me you will get the recognition.

Here’s Boston with More Than A Feeling.  Tune up those air guitars and let’s do this thang.

is that… Alice Cooper?

13 Feb

No.  It’s Grant in makeup and a wig!

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Why so sad, Alice-Grant?  Is it because my plan to see your performance in Edinburgh on Halloween last year fell through, and you’re all bummed out because one of your fans never got to see you live on stage?  I was disappointed, too – Chloe and I were going to go as Wayne and Garth.  But it was not to be.

I didn’t think tickets would sell out as fast as they did, then BOOM all of a sudden they were £140.  Damn the scalpers, damn them all to hell (but not the good part of hell where I will be roasting marshmallows with all my friends in due course – the bad part, for bad people who rip music fans off.  Hisss)

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Well.  As I always say, if you want something done, you’ve got to do it yourself.  Didn’t get to meet Alice Cooper?  Just paint someone else up to look like him and voila.  We are the masters of our own destinies, the architects of our own fortunes, the creators of our own fan-girl photo opportunities, are we not?

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What we have here, for those curious about the technicalities, is MAC Paintpot in Blackground (that bad-boy’s been getting quite the workout lately, but it really is good stuff), just painted on with a concealer brush.

Add a black wig – I found this one under the reception desk – and fingerless stud faux leather gloves.  Borrow a leather jacket from a Spanish guy called Sergio (if you can find one), and Bob’s your uncle.  Or Grant’s your Alice.  Or whatever.

Have fun, dear children.

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