Tag Archives: rock

how to be photogenic

24 Apr

People often mistake me for photogenic, which is obviously a nice compliment – but it’s simply not the case.  I look like an elderly man in profile, and I also have to work quite hard at making sure my nose doesn’t look like a penis.

It’s all about angles, really.

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Chloe and I have quite snap-happy mum, who also gives very good advice about not looking like hell in a photo.  Remember, chin DOWN and FORWARD.  A photo taken from slightly above will usually turn out better than one taken from below.  Think MySpace and keep going.  Know your best angle, and work it.  If you never let a hideous photo of yourself be taken or published, then technically that’s all it takes to be photogenic.

Your photographer will be either your best friend or your worst enemy here.  Learn which of your friends are shite at taking photos, and never let those people take your picture.

BE PREPARED.  If you grimace and go “eeeeerrrrggh I HATE having my photo taken!” whenever someone whips out a camera, then you’ll end up with nothing but photos of yourself with your face screwed up, mid-sentence.  No wonder you hate photos of yourself, if that’s what they look like.  Just smile.

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Try to be born to parents who are really attractive, as this will give you the best genetic advantage possible.  Also, if you have your hair and makeup professionally done every day, you’ll look better in photos too.

These photos are from Sunday, when Chloe and I were in Glasgow seeing Jettblack.

Chloe blue herself for the occasion

Chloe blue herself for the occasion

Jon Dow.  A man who understands that if you don't need to wear a shirt, you shouldn't wear a shirt.

Jon Dow. A man who understands that if you don’t need to wear a shirt, you shouldn’t wear a shirt.

me with lead singer Will Stapleton

me with super-lovely lead singer Will Stapleton

me with guitar and vocals Jon Dow

me with guitar and vocals Jon Dow, who had annoyingly put on a hoodie after coming off stage, but had the good grace to keep it unzipped.

It took quite a bit of arm-twisting to get this photo of Chloe giving Jon a piggy-back…

giddy up

giddy up

… he was all like, “my girlfriend’s not going to like this, you’re not going to put it on Facebook are you?” (nope, just my flog which gets zillions of daily hits with its huge international audience) and I was all like “if your girlfriend gives you a hard time about being piggybacked by giant Australian sisters, then you really need to take a good hard look at your relationship and just marry me instead.”

Not really.  I didn’t actually say that.  But we were all thinking it.

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Titanium Dioxide strikes again!

25 Mar

mr burns

Just when you thought you had all the knowledge-power needed to win the war against makeup supervillain Flash Face

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… THIS goes and happens.

The flash has picked up that Irene’s hair is loaded with Schwarzkopf got2b Volumising Style Powder; a product which has gotten quite mixed/negative reviews online.

As I have a mullet…

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Me and Chloe, ruling the world

…which is quite short on top, I find this product pretty good for fluffing my hair up.  Sure, it makes your hair feel a little matted, and yes, when you try to shampoo it out, your shampoo won’t lather.  If you put conditioner on it first it comes out fine.  I think the trick is to just use it sparingly… I seem to recall it took a good few days for Irene’s lovely hair to return to normal after this!

Do you know of any volumising powders/dry shampoos that are big-hair perfection?  Especially any that are darker in colour- a good dry shampoo that doesn’t just look like you’ve dumped a whole lot of talc in your barnet?  Do tell 😀

PS Today’s product recommendation – Maybelline Master Smoky shadow-pencil, which is a fat eye crayon number with a pointy foam smudger thingy on the end.  Pointy foam smudger thingies are great for sharpening/cleaning up a winged eye; use a clean one to give a sharper edge to a flick you’ve created using eyeshadow, for example.

The Master Smoky pencil itself is soft, full o’ pigment and excellent for darkening up underneath your top lashes, if you want them to look thick and fluffy and amazing.  That there tip, courtesy of Kevyn, is a great way to really define your eyes – it’s subtle but makes a helluva difference, I think.  Give it a go.  Any big-fat eyeliner pencil is good for cutting your teeth on that one.  They’re easier to apply.

it’s raining rock n’ roll

23 Mar

What’s that you say?

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You like posts with photos of me in the nuddy the best?

You’re only human.

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But anyway, I didn’t put black lipstick with pink lipliner on to discuss that.  No.  I’m here to deliver the interesting-only-to-me news that my Jettblack tickets arrived.

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I love Jettblack because Jon Dow.

the man I'm going to marry

I’m pretty sure he wrote this song about me, which is awesome because I think it’s the best love song I’ve ever heard.  I very much look forward to meeting him and moving our relationship to the next level (reality).

Chloe is coming to see them too, of course.  She still owes me (and will always owe me) for the Hanson/Kelly Clarkson double-whammy.

imo at kelly clarkson

She was quite surprised when I breathlessly showed her the photo of my future-husband Jon, as she was expecting Jettblack to be in their fifties at least.  Just like every other band I’ve made her come see.

Happy hair-metal weekend, rocklings.

*No mullets were harmed in the making of this post – it’s just tied up.

PS Here’s a fun photo effects thingy – http://pixlr.com/o-matic/

PPS For my photo-editing I use http://www.photoscape.org

PPPS Oh yeah, this is a makeup blog.  So here’s a tip, I can’t remember where I saw it so I do apologise if I’ve nicked this from another beauty blogger who I’m now not crediting… but I’m pretty sure I saw it in a magazine so hopefully no harm done.  Anyway.  Make the darkest part of your eyebrows at the arch to make them look fuller, not the inside corner like you might think.  Boom.

PPPPS I STILL haven’t heard from Clydebank College about whether I’ll be offered a place on the HND in Makeup Artistry…

… the suspense is killing me…

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