Tag Archives: makeover

Vegemite and lip tattoos – Colin rides again

17 Mar

After the last post featuring my housemate Colin’s nipples, I have been deluged with requests, fan mail, bribes, marriage proposals, weird fan-art, and all sorts of messages and trinkets that I was supposed to pass on to him, but didn’t.

Some of the more savoury suggestions you sent in, dear readers, included things you wanted me to do to Colin’s lucious lips.  Which is why we are here today, to try out the lip tattoos given to me for Christmas by my babelicous Danish friend, Irene.

Here’s me with Irene, in Glasgow, December 2011, on our way to the Def Leppard/Motley Crue/Steel Panther gig.

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So Irene gave me, amongst other fabulous gifts, some lip transfer/tattoos.

As made famous by Jessie J

As made famous by Jessie J

They’re just like the temporary tattoos that we all played with as kids (I don’t still play with them, HAHAHAHAHAHAA).  You cut the tattoo to fit the size and shape of your lips, peel off the plastic, wet the tattoo generously with cold water, press it on then carefully lift away the paper backing once the tattoo is stuck to the skin.

Colin assumes the position

Colin assumes the position

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But I just didn’t think that was creepy enough, so I made his teeth pointy.

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These pointy teeth were created with…

yes, Vegemite!

yes, Vegemite!

… although if you want a longer-lasting pointy tooth, get some tooth enamel.  Otherwise, as soon as you stop baring your teeth and start flapping your gums as normal, you’ll end up looking like you need to see the dentist urgently.

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So the lip tattoo lasted for an entire evening.

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And it lasted quite well.  I thought it would crack and peel but it didn’t, it just kind of faded.  He got a good few hours wear.

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And it wasn’t any ordinary night that the lip tattoo survived; it was Roadtrip Three Reunion night, where Chloe, Colin and I enjoyed a splendid slideshow of all the photos from the holiday we took together a year ago.  She-housemate Zoe might not have enjoyed it as much as we did, but she was a bloody good sport about it, and that’s why we love her 🙂

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is that… Alice Cooper?

13 Feb

No.  It’s Grant in makeup and a wig!

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Why so sad, Alice-Grant?  Is it because my plan to see your performance in Edinburgh on Halloween last year fell through, and you’re all bummed out because one of your fans never got to see you live on stage?  I was disappointed, too – Chloe and I were going to go as Wayne and Garth.  But it was not to be.

I didn’t think tickets would sell out as fast as they did, then BOOM all of a sudden they were £140.  Damn the scalpers, damn them all to hell (but not the good part of hell where I will be roasting marshmallows with all my friends in due course – the bad part, for bad people who rip music fans off.  Hisss)

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Well.  As I always say, if you want something done, you’ve got to do it yourself.  Didn’t get to meet Alice Cooper?  Just paint someone else up to look like him and voila.  We are the masters of our own destinies, the architects of our own fortunes, the creators of our own fan-girl photo opportunities, are we not?

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What we have here, for those curious about the technicalities, is MAC Paintpot in Blackground (that bad-boy’s been getting quite the workout lately, but it really is good stuff), just painted on with a concealer brush.

Add a black wig – I found this one under the reception desk – and fingerless stud faux leather gloves.  Borrow a leather jacket from a Spanish guy called Sergio (if you can find one), and Bob’s your uncle.  Or Grant’s your Alice.  Or whatever.

Have fun, dear children.

Chloe’s budgie-eye

5 Feb

To begin, take 1 x sister who wants fancy feature eye makeup for a night at the pub.

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Chloe has very good skin, the lucky so-and-so, however I did still feel the need to use some colour-correcting concealer under her eyes, which can look quite blue.  (Agi calls under-eye bags ‘douche bags’, fun fact for today).

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Using a mini Benefit Realness of Concealness kit, I put the lemon-yellow concealer under Chloe’s eyes from the inside corner, down alongside her nose and back up under the eye again, kind of in a triangle if that makes more sense.  Boots green primer was buffed along her t-zone to correct redness, and Garnier BB cream in Light was used just under the cheekbones as it’s slightly darker than the light MAC tinted moisturiser I used sparingly over the whole face.

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lemon, lime, PURDY!

And now time for the budgerigar-inspired green and yellow smokey eye…

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Using MAC Paintpot in Pharaoh, MAC eyeshadows in Wondergrass and Eyepopping and MAC Pigment in Chartreuse, it’s a standard smokey eye … but green!   Woooo.  The Paintpot creme eyeshadow goes on first to give the powder shadow something to stick to, intensifying its colour.  

The darker powder shadow is in the outer corner of the eye and underneath, and the lighter shadow blended out from the inner corner with the glitter pigment applied on top.  The pigment is messy (or maybe it’s just me), so I press it on carefully so it doesn’t go EVERYWHERE.

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and now for the finishing touches, with MAC Hi-light powder (this is a limited edition one that I bought in Australia about 100 years ago, from the Dame Edna range – check the catseye specs on the front).  I used two types of blush, because two types of a good thing at the same time is the secret to success.  

The two blushes are a MAC matte peachy-apricoty powder blush in Goddess, and a dirt-cheap-but-one-of-my-faves Miss Sporty brand blush (from Superdrug for about a quid, from memory) that’s a very pale and just-sparkly-enough pink.  

Eyebrows filled in with Maybelline eyebrow pencil in Dark Blonde, which is one of the best eyebrow pencils I’ve ever used – waxy, sticks to the hair not the skin, grooms perfectly.  And it’s the right price.  Wink.

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To finish, a bit of black eyeliner on the waterline and under the lashes (Chloe’s favourite part of getting her makeup done – NOT – but she is getting much much better at it).  The best eyeliner I’ve used cost me 50p from Primark.  The colour is INTENSE, it’s really soft and goes on like a dream, and lasts and lasts and lasts.  They have it in brown occasionally as well, and when I come across it, I stock up.  Recommended.  The mascara is Maybelline Colossal Volume in black.

Isn’t she pretty?

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