Tag Archives: costume

mysterious girl

8 May

Meet Carissa www.instagram.com/carisssssa

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I wish they all could be California girls

She is in Oban HelpXing at the Backpackers again for the FOURTH time – yes, that is how much of an excellent boss I am.  Never mind the fact that this technically means she has already left three times… she just can’t stay away.

But Carissa is more than an outstanding unpaid worker, she is also a very dear friend.  She is a creative soul, willing to indulge me, schmokin’ hawt and able to throw excellent poses.  Bingo.

As regular readers will know, I’ve gone a bit mad on the online wig procurement lately, and it seems silly not to put this transvestite treasure trove to good use.  I’ve always loved wigs, in fact, for my 21st birthday, BFF Sophie and I had a party together to celebrate, and the theme was… WIGS.

If memory serves, this was when I first dabbled in the mullet lifestyle.  I bought a big, bad, white-blonde Tina Turner/David Bowie-in-the-Labyrinth mullet and bloody loved it.  I wonder where that wig is now.  Probably in storage at Mum and Dad’s, bugger, I shouldn’t mention that because now they’re going to read this and bring up how much my crap is crapping up their garage.

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the only thing better than a wig, is TWO wigs

But anyway.  Carissa came over the other night and the green paint was still out from my date with a bunch of daffodils, so I was like, can I paint you green and draw a bunch of question marks between your boobs?

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literally, a human WTF

Like I said, she is a very good sport.

Carissa is a female Riddler.  She is a riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma; but perhaps there is a key.

wish my boobs were green...

wish my boobs were green…

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YOLO

YOLO

And then Chloe came home and wasn’t at all surprised because mad shit like this goes on all the time when you live with me.

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housemate wanted

housemate wanted

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the plot thickens…

30 Apr

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 I like shopping on the internet when I’m drunk

28 Apr

…which is why 3/4 of the storage space in my room is full of crazy crap like this.

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take me seriously

Opening packages and parcels is always exciting, especially when you don’t know what’s in them.  So imagine my surprise last week when not one, but two yellow wigs arrived.

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The orange lipstick I’m wearing is So Chaud by MAC with a bit of their eyeshadow in Honeylust in the centre of my bottom lip.  Did you guys know they still do the package recycling incentive, so if you return 6 MAC makeup empties of any kind to them, they’ll give you a free lippy (but not from the Viva Glam range, as that’s sold to raise cash for the MAC AIDS fund).

Anyway.  Gotta go rack my brains to see if I can remember why I would have thought I needed two yellow wigs.  I really do have fantastic ideas when I’m pissed, why don’t I write them down?  Oh yeah, because “amazing shelf bum” written on a gin-soaked receipt still leaves me completely in the dark.

Titanium Dioxide strikes again!

25 Mar

mr burns

Just when you thought you had all the knowledge-power needed to win the war against makeup supervillain Flash Face

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… THIS goes and happens.

The flash has picked up that Irene’s hair is loaded with Schwarzkopf got2b Volumising Style Powder; a product which has gotten quite mixed/negative reviews online.

As I have a mullet…

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Me and Chloe, ruling the world

…which is quite short on top, I find this product pretty good for fluffing my hair up.  Sure, it makes your hair feel a little matted, and yes, when you try to shampoo it out, your shampoo won’t lather.  If you put conditioner on it first it comes out fine.  I think the trick is to just use it sparingly… I seem to recall it took a good few days for Irene’s lovely hair to return to normal after this!

Do you know of any volumising powders/dry shampoos that are big-hair perfection?  Especially any that are darker in colour- a good dry shampoo that doesn’t just look like you’ve dumped a whole lot of talc in your barnet?  Do tell 😀

PS Today’s product recommendation – Maybelline Master Smoky shadow-pencil, which is a fat eye crayon number with a pointy foam smudger thingy on the end.  Pointy foam smudger thingies are great for sharpening/cleaning up a winged eye; use a clean one to give a sharper edge to a flick you’ve created using eyeshadow, for example.

The Master Smoky pencil itself is soft, full o’ pigment and excellent for darkening up underneath your top lashes, if you want them to look thick and fluffy and amazing.  That there tip, courtesy of Kevyn, is a great way to really define your eyes – it’s subtle but makes a helluva difference, I think.  Give it a go.  Any big-fat eyeliner pencil is good for cutting your teeth on that one.  They’re easier to apply.

“Heroes”

21 Mar

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I put the brown-eye contact lens in for this.  Considering that I knew all along the picture would be in black and white, I hope you admire my dedication and attention to detail.  Dedicated enough to have an orange mullet in 2013, but not dedicated enough to shave my eyebrows off.

There is an exhibition at the V&A in London called “David Bowie is” until some time in August.  I am desperate to get down to it, so I think that’s what I’ll do for my birthday in July.  Yes.  Go down to London for a few days with Chloe.

Mum and Dad are talking about visiting from Australia in July.  Dad could take us to see where he grew up and tell us stories while we throw rocks into the Thames.  I could have almost my whole family there to watch me get old (minus big sis Phoebe, who is also my birthday buddy – we were born on the same day but three years apart).

If I get my way, I’ll also do a short makeup course while we’re there.

And then, there will be absolutely no stopping me.

how does she do it?

bowie does makeup

St Patrick’s Day facepaint

15 Mar

So, my Snazaroo colours have arrived from eBay – Grass Green, Bright Green, White and Black (in case anyone wants a pint of Guinness painted on their cheek).  I wasn’t able to get hold of any green glitter anywhere in Oban; seems everyone has the same idea, AND is more organised than I am.

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And here I am, on reception in the hostel, practicing painting shamrocks on the back of my hand.

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In other green makeup news, I used the ole Illamasqua sealing liquid on Chloe the other night, in a St Paddy’s take on the classic feline-flicked eye.

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She commented that once it had set, it felt a bit tight and weird on her eyes.  I haven’t had that problem using it on myself, but maybe I was laying it on her a bit thick.

Another cautionary tale; I started doing the flick using the Maybelline Eye Studio 24 Hour Colour Tattoo in black, but it didn’t really work out.  As regular readers are aware, I am a huge fan of those lil pots of metallic colour perfection, but I can now say I think they’re best suited for a wash of colour, a smokey eye or as a primer on which to build powder colours.  For precision work, I had trouble getting a clean and opaque line.

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Yes, Colin does have leopard-print lips there.  Just a few teasers for an upcoming post 😉  Right after this last photo was taken, Nothing Compares To You by Sinead O’Connor came on, which is Colin’s favourite song, and we had a huge and very emotional sing-along – so there’s the answer to yesterday’s caption competition riddle, for those following on Facebook.

Stay tuned, and I hope you don’t feel too green the day after your St Patrick’s Day celebrations!  xX

Lichtenstein cartoon pop-art makeup

21 Feb

For Halloween 2012, Chloe wanted a Lichtenstein-style pop-art cartoon face to match her favourite comic-strip skirt.  And I was like, bring it on.

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We decided against the small-pox dots all over the face, mostly because by the time we got to that stage, we were running sooooo late for the party that there simply wasn’t time.

Pretty much, I just went to town on her with a black liquid liner.  Starting the eyebrows higher in the inside corner, and ending them lower on the outside creates a miserable, about-to-cry expression, as if by magic.  Try it, and you’ll have everyone coming up to you all night, saying “are you OK?”

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The tear was a work of art, if I do say so myself.  Shiny and long-lasting thanks to MAC Liquid Last eyeliner and with extra sparkle, care of MAC Pigment.

So off we went to our party.  Me, Chloe and Zoe Winehouse.

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May I remind you all that this boo-hoo expression on Chloe’s face is drawn on, she’s actually not pulling a face at all.  Or she wasn’t, until we arrived at the party…

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and Faron was also a Lichtenstein-inspired cartoony face!  OMFG!

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And Chloe ripped off her wig in a rage, and was all like, waaaaah.

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The end.

Or was it?….

In the thrilling sequel to today’s post, CHLOE WEARS A DIFFERENT BLONDE WIG!  Stay tuned!

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let me run something up your flagpole

17 Feb

Going to the football?  Here, let me sort you out.

Here’s me on Australia Day in 2009 – we had an excellent party in the hostel that year, all down to other resident redhead Aussie at the time – Ken – who paid outstanding attention to detail and got in everyone’s favourite Australian delicacies (Toffee Apples, Milo, Chicos, Cherry Ripes, Burger Rings – you name it).

Anyway – these flags are all done with cream makeup/facepaint that’s available on eBay for a couple of bucks per tube.  Not sure if you can see on my blue face but it’s flaking to buggery – maybe I had it on too thick?  Or maybe it was a dud batch of paint.  The blue corner of the South African flag on Alewyn’s face suffered the same fate, while the rest of the facepaint lasted pretty well (not only on his face, but everyone else’s who came within smearing distance!)

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And Dos Tonis, getting ready to celebrate LOUDLY for the World Cup in 2010 (?? – is it every four years like the Olympics??)

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I’m not sure what was going on with Chloe’s makeup here; from memory we were at a dress up party (Morgan’s birthday?) and at the last minute hastily threw together her costume; I think she was a flag.  The dress she’s in was a floor length stripey beach-ball number and her face was just painted with the colours I had to hand that kind-of matched.  Heehee.  That was the day I first had my hair cut into a mullet (April or May 2012) by Oban’s one and only Karlos; it has since gone from strength to strength (in length).

Anyway.  Not an official flag according to the UN, but still.

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is that… Alice Cooper?

13 Feb

No.  It’s Grant in makeup and a wig!

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Why so sad, Alice-Grant?  Is it because my plan to see your performance in Edinburgh on Halloween last year fell through, and you’re all bummed out because one of your fans never got to see you live on stage?  I was disappointed, too – Chloe and I were going to go as Wayne and Garth.  But it was not to be.

I didn’t think tickets would sell out as fast as they did, then BOOM all of a sudden they were £140.  Damn the scalpers, damn them all to hell (but not the good part of hell where I will be roasting marshmallows with all my friends in due course – the bad part, for bad people who rip music fans off.  Hisss)

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Well.  As I always say, if you want something done, you’ve got to do it yourself.  Didn’t get to meet Alice Cooper?  Just paint someone else up to look like him and voila.  We are the masters of our own destinies, the architects of our own fortunes, the creators of our own fan-girl photo opportunities, are we not?

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What we have here, for those curious about the technicalities, is MAC Paintpot in Blackground (that bad-boy’s been getting quite the workout lately, but it really is good stuff), just painted on with a concealer brush.

Add a black wig – I found this one under the reception desk – and fingerless stud faux leather gloves.  Borrow a leather jacket from a Spanish guy called Sergio (if you can find one), and Bob’s your uncle.  Or Grant’s your Alice.  Or whatever.

Have fun, dear children.

Twiggy and Bowie, Chloe and me

11 Feb

From the 1973 album Pin Ups, here is David Bowie posing with Twiggy.

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The face-outline thing reminds me of this:

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which was my bum-chinspiration for this:

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…which was Chloe in costume as this:

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I have always admired Boy George in his twilight years; he just paints over that wattle and expects us all to turn a blind eye.  What double chin?  Oh this ol’ bronzed acre of skin?  That’s a jawline you could shave parmesan on, friends, not a massive turkey gobbler.  Nothing to see here.

Anyway.  Back to Bowie.

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I’ve had my mullet trimmed (although it is not such a dark red as his), I’ve bought a brown contact lens and Chloe and I are both going bra-less today so there are no strap marks on our shoulders.  I’m so ready for this.

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It’s the morning after and I’m editing the photos from the Pin Ups session, and laughing my ass off.  Most of these aren’t fit for publication.  The kind of stuff you don’t want ending up on 9gag.  I’ve got a whole album of oh-god-why, right here.  Let’s see if I can tastefully crop them into something more family friendly.

Basically, the makeup took several hours and 4 litres of Lambrini.  We were both topless, drinking pints of mimosa all afternoon.  My housemates were quite surprised when they came in from their day skiing, but Zoe quickly regained her composure and took the final photos for us.

So here we go.  I don’t have a huge number of progress shots because the camera battery was running low, and I’m also not going to be able to name all the products I used; mostly because there is no point naming the ancient eye-shadows I’ve had for 10+ years that I bought in Australia.

This was my first proper attempt at covering eyebrows; there are a couple of ways you can do it, so I picked the cheaper one – glue stick!  Yes really.  I think I put too many layers on; on Chloe’s eyebrows at least I think one layer might have been enough.  In the YouTube videos I watched they were all going to town with several layers, built up with powder in between.

Anyway, here she is a with a monobrow created with Pritt-stick and Illamasqua Rich Liquid foundation.

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The Illamasqua Rich Liquid foundation was applied around the outside of her face, then all down Chloe’s neck, arms and chest to make her a nice golden-Twiggy colour (and I upped my own palour with Illamasqua Skin Base foundation, in the lightest shade).  The Rich Liquid is the densest coverage formula they’ve got, and it’s DENSE.  It-covers-tattoos-dense.

The face-outline was drawn on with a nude lip-liner, and the white Skin Base foundation went inside the outline.  At this stage, Chloe looked quite like a playing card somehow, so I popped my Red Queen wig on her just quickly, for fun:

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Then came the eyeshadow, which didn’t work out as well as I wanted it to – it was difficult blending the powder over such thick, sticky layers of foundation and dry glue stick.  It was frustrating.

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Finished with a LOT of black mascara, top and bottom, cos that was the way Twiggy rolled.  Light pink sparkly blush low down under the cheekbones and on the temples.  Nude lipliner and gold lipstick.  Blue headscarf.

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Then I did my own makeup.  My makeup is similar to Chloe’s – covered eyebrows, face outlined.  But I am snow white instead of white and tan.  I was wearing a matte taupe eyeshadow and brown mascara, and contact lenses.  I used a matte peach blush on my temples and under my cheekbones.

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And this is what we ended up with:

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What do you think?

I think Chloe pulls a very convincingly beatific Twiggy face there.

What I learned from this session:

– Always put whole afternoons aside for this kind of ambitious undertaking; when you’re flying blind, you need time on your side.  You don’t want to be rushed.

– Really thick, tan makeup looks amazing in photos and ridiculous in real life.

– Covering eyebrows is hard, although the dried glue stick wasn’t as uncomfortable as I thought it would be.  It retained a bit of flexibility so it didn’t flake off or peel up like I assumed it might.

– Teaching yourself can be satisfying and fun, however recently I’m feeling limited by not having the right tools or products, and I’m very aware of the huge gaps in my technical knowledge… and it’s frustrating.  I have the vision but it’s not always enough.

I try to stay positive and channel Kevyn when it’s not going the way I want; even when you’re making a complete dog’s breakfast of it, you’re still learning.