Tag Archives: Halloween
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the plot thickens…

30 Apr

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 I like shopping on the internet when I’m drunk

28 Apr

…which is why 3/4 of the storage space in my room is full of crazy crap like this.

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take me seriously

Opening packages and parcels is always exciting, especially when you don’t know what’s in them.  So imagine my surprise last week when not one, but two yellow wigs arrived.

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The orange lipstick I’m wearing is So Chaud by MAC with a bit of their eyeshadow in Honeylust in the centre of my bottom lip.  Did you guys know they still do the package recycling incentive, so if you return 6 MAC makeup empties of any kind to them, they’ll give you a free lippy (but not from the Viva Glam range, as that’s sold to raise cash for the MAC AIDS fund).

Anyway.  Gotta go rack my brains to see if I can remember why I would have thought I needed two yellow wigs.  I really do have fantastic ideas when I’m pissed, why don’t I write them down?  Oh yeah, because “amazing shelf bum” written on a gin-soaked receipt still leaves me completely in the dark.

tyger tyger, burning bright

4 Apr

A collection of tiger pics, because it’s prudent to keep these things all together in the one place.  Also, I’m in Iceland right now so this is a pre-scheduled post while I don’t have any new material to put up.  Heehee.

The original, and best

The original, and best

Me and Jaxx selling Christmas trees

Francine being a tiger for Halloween

Francine being a tiger for Halloween

Irene with Agi who was a green tiger, just because

Irene with Agi who was a green tiger, just because

Me as a rainbow tiger

Me as a rainbow tiger

Facepaint done at the Polo Lounge

Chloe's St Patrick's Day green tiger

Chloe’s St Patrick’s Day green tiger

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRH!

Titanium Dioxide strikes again!

25 Mar

mr burns

Just when you thought you had all the knowledge-power needed to win the war against makeup supervillain Flash Face

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… THIS goes and happens.

The flash has picked up that Irene’s hair is loaded with Schwarzkopf got2b Volumising Style Powder; a product which has gotten quite mixed/negative reviews online.

As I have a mullet…

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Me and Chloe, ruling the world

…which is quite short on top, I find this product pretty good for fluffing my hair up.  Sure, it makes your hair feel a little matted, and yes, when you try to shampoo it out, your shampoo won’t lather.  If you put conditioner on it first it comes out fine.  I think the trick is to just use it sparingly… I seem to recall it took a good few days for Irene’s lovely hair to return to normal after this!

Do you know of any volumising powders/dry shampoos that are big-hair perfection?  Especially any that are darker in colour- a good dry shampoo that doesn’t just look like you’ve dumped a whole lot of talc in your barnet?  Do tell 😀

PS Today’s product recommendation – Maybelline Master Smoky shadow-pencil, which is a fat eye crayon number with a pointy foam smudger thingy on the end.  Pointy foam smudger thingies are great for sharpening/cleaning up a winged eye; use a clean one to give a sharper edge to a flick you’ve created using eyeshadow, for example.

The Master Smoky pencil itself is soft, full o’ pigment and excellent for darkening up underneath your top lashes, if you want them to look thick and fluffy and amazing.  That there tip, courtesy of Kevyn, is a great way to really define your eyes – it’s subtle but makes a helluva difference, I think.  Give it a go.  Any big-fat eyeliner pencil is good for cutting your teeth on that one.  They’re easier to apply.

“Heroes”

21 Mar

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I put the brown-eye contact lens in for this.  Considering that I knew all along the picture would be in black and white, I hope you admire my dedication and attention to detail.  Dedicated enough to have an orange mullet in 2013, but not dedicated enough to shave my eyebrows off.

There is an exhibition at the V&A in London called “David Bowie is” until some time in August.  I am desperate to get down to it, so I think that’s what I’ll do for my birthday in July.  Yes.  Go down to London for a few days with Chloe.

Mum and Dad are talking about visiting from Australia in July.  Dad could take us to see where he grew up and tell us stories while we throw rocks into the Thames.  I could have almost my whole family there to watch me get old (minus big sis Phoebe, who is also my birthday buddy – we were born on the same day but three years apart).

If I get my way, I’ll also do a short makeup course while we’re there.

And then, there will be absolutely no stopping me.

how does she do it?

bowie does makeup

Irish you a happy hangover

19 Mar

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Oh hai.

Sunday night I was at the pub painting faces for St Patrick’s day celebrations.  I did my own makeup using MAC Pigment in a light green and various dark brown pencils and shadows to create a smokey eye.  I put false eyelashes on but they pretty quickly gave me the shits so I ripped them off not long after I took these photos.

I’ve used falsies a lot in the past so I’m not sure exactly what went wrong with these ones; they were cheap (not a deal-breaker) and “pre-glued” (a fallacious concept) so I put more glue on them, and things quickly went pear-shaped.  They were itching to buggery so off they went.  Shame.  I do love a good flutter.

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So then it was off to the pub to decorate everyone else, but first I went via the hostel and painted Chloe as a green tiger while she was on reception.  Just for practice.

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and here is (almost) everybody else!

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Then I let Chloe do my makeup…

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Which she was very happy with…

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And a whale of a time was had by all.  Thanks very much to Lindsay at Markie’s for being a gracious host as always, and Sandra MacBeth for the banter-tastic entertainment!  I hope you’re all not feeling so green now that you’ve had a big sleep and lots of water.

This week I will hear (hopefully) about whether I have been offered a place on the HND Makeup Artistry course @ Clydebank… keep your fingers crossed for me.  Maybe this photo will bring some luck ‘o the Irish – I present to you some of my lovely staff 🙂

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Happy Tuesday, little crumbs xX

Vegemite and lip tattoos – Colin rides again

17 Mar

After the last post featuring my housemate Colin’s nipples, I have been deluged with requests, fan mail, bribes, marriage proposals, weird fan-art, and all sorts of messages and trinkets that I was supposed to pass on to him, but didn’t.

Some of the more savoury suggestions you sent in, dear readers, included things you wanted me to do to Colin’s lucious lips.  Which is why we are here today, to try out the lip tattoos given to me for Christmas by my babelicous Danish friend, Irene.

Here’s me with Irene, in Glasgow, December 2011, on our way to the Def Leppard/Motley Crue/Steel Panther gig.

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So Irene gave me, amongst other fabulous gifts, some lip transfer/tattoos.

As made famous by Jessie J

As made famous by Jessie J

They’re just like the temporary tattoos that we all played with as kids (I don’t still play with them, HAHAHAHAHAHAA).  You cut the tattoo to fit the size and shape of your lips, peel off the plastic, wet the tattoo generously with cold water, press it on then carefully lift away the paper backing once the tattoo is stuck to the skin.

Colin assumes the position

Colin assumes the position

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But I just didn’t think that was creepy enough, so I made his teeth pointy.

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These pointy teeth were created with…

yes, Vegemite!

yes, Vegemite!

… although if you want a longer-lasting pointy tooth, get some tooth enamel.  Otherwise, as soon as you stop baring your teeth and start flapping your gums as normal, you’ll end up looking like you need to see the dentist urgently.

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So the lip tattoo lasted for an entire evening.

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And it lasted quite well.  I thought it would crack and peel but it didn’t, it just kind of faded.  He got a good few hours wear.

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And it wasn’t any ordinary night that the lip tattoo survived; it was Roadtrip Three Reunion night, where Chloe, Colin and I enjoyed a splendid slideshow of all the photos from the holiday we took together a year ago.  She-housemate Zoe might not have enjoyed it as much as we did, but she was a bloody good sport about it, and that’s why we love her 🙂

St Patrick’s Day facepaint

15 Mar

So, my Snazaroo colours have arrived from eBay – Grass Green, Bright Green, White and Black (in case anyone wants a pint of Guinness painted on their cheek).  I wasn’t able to get hold of any green glitter anywhere in Oban; seems everyone has the same idea, AND is more organised than I am.

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And here I am, on reception in the hostel, practicing painting shamrocks on the back of my hand.

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In other green makeup news, I used the ole Illamasqua sealing liquid on Chloe the other night, in a St Paddy’s take on the classic feline-flicked eye.

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She commented that once it had set, it felt a bit tight and weird on her eyes.  I haven’t had that problem using it on myself, but maybe I was laying it on her a bit thick.

Another cautionary tale; I started doing the flick using the Maybelline Eye Studio 24 Hour Colour Tattoo in black, but it didn’t really work out.  As regular readers are aware, I am a huge fan of those lil pots of metallic colour perfection, but I can now say I think they’re best suited for a wash of colour, a smokey eye or as a primer on which to build powder colours.  For precision work, I had trouble getting a clean and opaque line.

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Yes, Colin does have leopard-print lips there.  Just a few teasers for an upcoming post 😉  Right after this last photo was taken, Nothing Compares To You by Sinead O’Connor came on, which is Colin’s favourite song, and we had a huge and very emotional sing-along – so there’s the answer to yesterday’s caption competition riddle, for those following on Facebook.

Stay tuned, and I hope you don’t feel too green the day after your St Patrick’s Day celebrations!  xX

emo eyebrows

9 Mar

Oh, but I was in a truly foul mood yesterday.  Not even I wanted to hang out with me.  Things were desperately grim.  There was only one thing for it; a huge frown.  A metres-deep furrowing of the brow.  A grimace so cavernous it would make you dizzy.

BUT!  Pulling such a face is bad business – what if the wind changed?  And who wants wrinkles?  Audrey Hepburn herself said “happy girls are the prettiest girls”.  As I contemplated how to reconcile this titanic conundrum, it occurred to me that I could just draw an expression on my face.  After all, with makeup, anything is possible.

Voila – anyone I encountered would know that I was shitty as all hell, but my fore-skin (time-saving contraction of the words ‘forehead’ and ‘skin’) would remain ‘smooth’ and ‘unblemished’, faithful gatekeeper of the secret of my age.

So I whipped out the eyeliner (not brow pencil… not today – I needed sharper lines than my soft crayons would provide), and sharpened it real good.  When DIY-ing an eyebrow, what you’re looking to do is draw wee hairs.  None of your thick stripes and long lines; sketch on little bits here and there to fill in.  This is what you want, to enhance or alter the overall effect of your existing brows.  And you need a sharp pencil for that.  Unless of course the look you are going for is a deliberate thick line, which certainly has its place.

But anyway – here is my grumpy brow.

grumpy eyebrows

OOOOH look how ANGRY that looks!  SUPER PISSED OFF!

Then I felt sad that I had wasted any time at all feeling so bloody awful, and yet again didn’t want to pull a face, so I just drew on some sad eyebrows, for demonstration purposes.  Here they are.

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Awwww, don’t you just want to sweep me into your arms and tell me that everything is going to be OK?

Now, I know what you’re thinking.  “Bloody Imo, there she goes pulling faces and editing photos again.”  Oh no.  Scroll back up so both sets of peepers are on the screen, the cover both sets of eyebrows with your hands.  See?  My expression in both of these photos was actually completely neutral.

And it’s so easy to do.  Too lazy to engage your facial muscles to express an emotion?  You can buy an eyeliner pencil for as little as 50p at H&M, and moving your face will then be a thing of the past, if you so desire.

Angry brows are created by thickening the inner corner of your natural brow line.  Start below rather than above your natural shape.  Bring the start-point of your brows slightly in towards each other, and create a harder angle up into the arch than you naturally have.  The brow should finish shorter than your natural brows, and above the natural line.  Basically, frown in the mirror, take note, relax your expression and draw it on.  When you’ve done one brow, sharpen the pencil before moving on to the next.

Sad brows start higher in the inner corner and finish lower on the outer edges.  They’re also longer.  Smudge them out and down.  There is also more distance between them.  Do this, then sit back, relax and wait for everyone to come up to you all day and night saying “are you ok?  Can I get you anything?”

So there you have it.  You might not ever have the need or want to do this.   But now you know.  Makeup is so much more than covering something up or making your irises ‘pop’.

Lichtenstein cartoon pop-art makeup

21 Feb

For Halloween 2012, Chloe wanted a Lichtenstein-style pop-art cartoon face to match her favourite comic-strip skirt.  And I was like, bring it on.

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We decided against the small-pox dots all over the face, mostly because by the time we got to that stage, we were running sooooo late for the party that there simply wasn’t time.

Pretty much, I just went to town on her with a black liquid liner.  Starting the eyebrows higher in the inside corner, and ending them lower on the outside creates a miserable, about-to-cry expression, as if by magic.  Try it, and you’ll have everyone coming up to you all night, saying “are you OK?”

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The tear was a work of art, if I do say so myself.  Shiny and long-lasting thanks to MAC Liquid Last eyeliner and with extra sparkle, care of MAC Pigment.

So off we went to our party.  Me, Chloe and Zoe Winehouse.

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May I remind you all that this boo-hoo expression on Chloe’s face is drawn on, she’s actually not pulling a face at all.  Or she wasn’t, until we arrived at the party…

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and Faron was also a Lichtenstein-inspired cartoony face!  OMFG!

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And Chloe ripped off her wig in a rage, and was all like, waaaaah.

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The end.

Or was it?….

In the thrilling sequel to today’s post, CHLOE WEARS A DIFFERENT BLONDE WIG!  Stay tuned!

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